


heart like yours (jeanxfem)

by katsukial



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Comedy, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, More Fluff, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, eren and armin might get together we will see, hange is your sibling, i want to make yall cry so hopefully that happens, idk who reader ends up with tbh, landlord levi bc we need that, lots and lots of fluff, moblit and hange are married bc endgame, there isn't much smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsukial/pseuds/katsukial
Summary: “how could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?”those words once spoken to you echoed in your mindlittle did you know back thenthat they were liesyou watched as jean caressed her cheeks, tears falling from yours
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Eren Yeager/Reader, Eren/Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Jean/Reader, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	1. untitled

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, prepare for some bad grammar!! lol umm, I want to warn y'all that this is my first fanfiction in the aot universe so it's a lil effy. Either way <3 thank you so much for reading!! Also, all characters live in Illinois, (I do not live there but I am from there so some things may seem odd if you do reside there) btw all characters' appearances are from season 4! Y/N is gay as well, she doesn't have a specific sexuality, you can decide if she's bi or pan or whatever. being pan myself I wanted to incorporate these themes since I've read little to no fanfics that have both male and female love interests!!

" _And it shall be well with us both in this life and in the pilgrimage of a thousand years which we have been describing."_

You scoffed, what a load of crap you thought as you put down the book you were reading. The Republic by Plato, sadly you had decided to take a philosophy class this semester because somehow you just loved putting yourself through that pain and horror. You took a sip from your tea and spit it right back into the cup, it had become cold and the flavor just wasn't there. You sighed as you looked up to see your roommate's head plastered in the same book as you, his golden blonde hair moved with the wind and you chuckled.

"Hey Armin, are you done because none of what I just read registered in my mind," you checked the time of your phone, 12:45 pm, you had been there for almost three hours, "Armin? Hello, earth to Armin?" Once again no answer, usually this happens whenever he gets into a book, usually you nod it off. 

"ARMEEAN!" You threw your napkin inside the book and you could see a frown as his little head popped up.

"I heard you the first time y/n, there's a thing called patience maybe you should look into it," he grabbed his blue bookmark and placed it softly into the book.

"I do have patience, as a matter of fact, I just finished the book," you glanced at the book beside you, "although I kinda don't know what I just read." 

"Are you sure you read it? Because every time I glanced up to look at you, you were looking inside the cafe or watching tiktoks," you stared at him with disbelief, the lies you were hearing.

"That's how I read, every ten words I read I reward myself with five minutes of tiktoks. I'm a multitasker!" Truth be told, you were never good at reading in public places especially a busy cafe like the one you were at.

"And that cute barista doesn't help either, does it?" you looked up to see Armin was smirking at you, you glanced at the window to see the person he was referring to. The barista inside was taking someone's order, his hair was pulled back into a messy bun and he tilted his head as he wrote the name of the person in front of him. You had lived above the cafe for a year already, however, you were shy and you couldn't bear the idea of going up to ask him his name. Every time you came in, you would shyly ask for a jasmine green tea and pay for it without any side conversation.

"Perhaps I should go home to reread this and start getting ready to do my English homework," you were still looking at the cute barista as he poured coffee into a mug, he had been looking down but as he finished pouring he looked up and met up with your eyes, he smirked as you quickly moved your head back to Armin.

"Good idea, if you stayed here any longer I would probably end up calling the police to escort you so I could finish reading," he smiled as he took a sip from his teacup.

"Are you sure you wanna stay here? She's working today you know that right?" You began to gather your things, the goal was to get Armin to come back home with you so he wouldn't have to deal with _her_.

"It's been three weeks y/n, I think I'm old enough to realize that our lives are intermingled no matter what we are to each other," The _she_ was Annie Leonhart, a girl who Armin began dating about seven months ago. You had met Annie on many occasions but she never got close to you in any shape or form, every time they'd all hang out she was always off by herself or she'd leave early. You knew Armin wasn't okay with seeing her since he hadn't even told you about how they broke up, but you knew Armin was too stubborn to admit the truth so you finished gathering your things. You laid your hand on Armin's shoulder and gave him a small smile, "if you need anything I'm just a staircase away."

You walked about ten steps until you reached the entrance of your apartment complex, you dreaded going up the stairs and quite often wondered why you thought living on the third floor was so attractive. As you reached your hallway, you were met with multiple cardboard boxes labeled "Clothing" "Books & Movies". You scoffed, "hmm wonder who's coming to live in this hellhole." You didn't necessarily hate where you lived, you had grown fond of the groaning floors and peeling wallpaper, however, if given the chance to leave you would take it in a heartbeat.

You unlocked the door and were met with Armin's cat Mandalorian, "hi my little dude, you ready to help me cram for my English exam? no... okay" the cat meowed as you set your things on the kitchen table. The style of your home was very American to sum it up, we had a small kitchen with minimum appliances and then a big living room filled with books and movies. You changed into some sweats and began cramming, about ten minutes passed when you heard a small knock at the door. Knowing you, you stayed on the couch and pretended as if you weren't there, you had no intentions of having visitors at the moment.

"OPEN UP Y/N I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE" you jumped at the sound of banging on your door, Sasha Braus, of course, had to alert your entire neighborhood of her arrival. You sped walked to your door and as you opened the door you were met with a girl smiling brightly holding cookies in a tray, you gave a small smile and gestured to let her in.

"You know, you really shouldn't be opening the door for people who knock like that" she giggled as she spoke.

"So what? Did you want me to not open the door?"

"I gave you a chance to open the door the first time I knocked, I was being so polite!" she laid the cookies down on the marble top and made herself at home on your couch.

"Okay... whatever! Do you want something to drink?" I opened the drawers and took out two glasses as Sasha closed the curtains and turned on the kitchen light. "Hey, what are you doing I'm letting the light of day come into the house!"

"Hmm, do you have any of that red juice? I love that stuff! Also, natural light is not going to set my mood."

"Set your mood? What do you mean?" you grabbed the jamaica juice that you had just bought at the grocery store the other day, Sasha and you had been friends since high school, she didn't go to the same university as you but she constantly made her way to your house every week.

"Look, I'm stressed with all my classes and then I just got a second job this week. And that one time we hung out, we..... you know what happened! And well I acknowledge we said we would never do it again but y/n is it wrong to tell you that I liked kissing you?" you gulped as you saw Sasha stare at you with her wide eyes, you had never seen Sasha so serious-looking in your entire life; her stare hadn't dropped either. You were wondering what had changed in Sasha to come over here and tell you these things. Your mind began to race as you remembered the last time Sasha had been in your house.

Sasha had come over about a month ago because her boyfriend had left for a business trip without telling her, she was heartbroken and you didn’t know exactly what to do. Sasha had begun thinking for the worse, "He finally left me y/n, it happened." You asked your older sibling, Hange, if they could buy some alcohol for Sasha and you. They were hesitant but you begged her that this was the one time you would ever ask them to do this. Sasha had claimed herself a bottle of fire whiskey and she didn’t let go of it until she finished it, of course, you remained a little sober in case of an emergency but it was heartbreaking seeing Sasha such a wreck. Near the end of the night, Sasha and you were on the couch and her head laid on the crook of your neck, you held her hand and comforted her. You recalled the conversation, Sasha was telling you how important you were to her and how she couldn’t imagine life without you. You weren’t the type of person to tell anyone you loved them not even your family but that night you told Sasha, “you’re so important to me Sasha, I love you so much” you kissed the top of her head as you had always done before. However this time it was different, Sasha startled you as she lifted her face and turned towards you. “Y/n, can I kiss you?” You were shocked by the question but by the time you comprehended what she said, you nodded. Sasha's head leaned towards you, her warm breathe on your lips until you couldn’t stand them being apart. You hated the space between you two and closed it as you pulled Sasha closer with your hand on her cheek. At first, it was merely an innocent kiss, but as you stayed within her grasp you felt her tongue play with yours. You had never felt the urge to kiss Sasha but right now that’s all you wanted to do. It soon ended when you realized what was happening, you pulled apart and Sasha began wimping again. “I’m so sorry y/n, this was a mistake. My head is pounding and this is so ah I have to go to bed.” After that Sasha passed out on the couch, her head on your lap. You weren't mad at what happened, but you weren’t happy with it either. That morning, you spoke to Sasha about it and you simply dismissed it as a mistake and how it was the alcohol affecting your judgments. Everything went back to normal, or that’s what you thought.

“Y/n? Hey fishy? Are you swimming? What’s going on?” You snapped back to what was happening, Sasha was waving her hands in front of her face. You stepped back as you noticed Sasha had moved closer to you.

“No, Sasha, we said that it was a spur of the moment, that we would never do it again. I thought you and Niccolo were fine again? Weren’t you planning on going to Colorado for Spring break?”

“We are, but Niccolo and I aren’t anything y/n........ okay we are but Niccolo wants an open relationship, he doesn’t want us to be tied down to each other! He wants to explore the world, sure he loves me but he wants me to experience new things!” She blushed as she spoke, Sasha had always told you that open relationships were a trap. That they never work, so why was this happening?

“Is that what you truly want? You want Niccolo to be able to sleep with other people? Do you want to sleep with other people?” Pissed was an understatement for how you felt, Niccolo had been on your nerves before but not like this. You knew he was playing with Sasha's love and feelings. 

“Yes! Y/n, the only other person I want to do things with is...” she looked down and began fiddling her fingers, you wanted to snap at her but she looked so sweet and innocent. “You, you’re the only other person I want to be with besides Niccolo....”

You inhaled and exhaled, something inside wanted to hold Sasha and protect her with your entire being but you know if you held her now that you would send the wrong message.

“Sasha.... we cant. I love you but I can’t be with you when I don’t know what or how I feel, and I don’t want to get wrapped up in Niccolo and your relationship.” It took you a while to tell her, you bit your lip until it began to bleed. Sashas’s eyes began to water, and you thought crap I made her cry.

“Y/n.....” You heard her voice crack, she cleared her voice. “I don’t want anything emotional with you, I want to be friends....” she began wiping her tears off her cheeks.

“Friends? Friends with benefits???” You gawked at her, you couldn’t believe the nonsense coming out of her mouth.

“Just physical..... so I mean yeah maybe friends with benefits. It wouldn’t affect our relationship! Maybe it’ll make it stronger in a way!” Sasha beamed, you didn’t know what you felt for Sasha but you knew you loved her with your entire heart, she made you stronger in a way.

“No feelings? We’ve been friends since 9th grade, there’s already feelings there, we can’t just start making out and then go make friendship bracelets, that's not how it works!”

“God you take things so seriously, it’s just for fun! To relieve stress, to fool around with someone new! I'm not asking for marriage y/n....” you bit your lip again, you wanted to run away but your legs wouldn’t budge. You know if you stayed here any longer you would give into Sasha's idea. You were seriously considering it, you hadn’t kissed anyone before what happened with Sasha and it did relieve some stress.....but it could also bring you more stress. 

“If this happens, the moment I don’t feel like it anymore. It’s over. You hear me?” Sasha was stunned by your response but instead of answering you, she grabbed your hand and headed towards the couch. Sasha gestured for you to sit down and as you did she pushed down on you and before you knew it you were laying down now. You had never seen Sasha established such dominance, she was on top of you within a moment and you felt her breath on your lips like before.

Sasha licked her lips and you began kissing, her hands playing with your shirt. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you tangled them in her hair, it felt soft and silky. Her lips were soft and her tongue played with yours as she fiddled with your bra with her other hand. “Sasha, stop trying to take off my clothing,” You gasped as she began pulling her shirt off, stopping as you spoke.

“Is that taking it too far?” She innocently breathed, she looked down at you. You hadn’t noticed before but Sasha had curled her hair, she was even wearing a low-cut shirt that you have never seen her wear before.

“Yeah, can we pause? I don’t know I just don’t feel up to the whole thing right now...” you sat up now and stared into her brown eyes.

“Yeah of course!” She giddily got off you and you adjusted yourself, Sasha then laid down and she placed her head on your lap. “How about we nap? I’m starting to get sleepy” and with that Sasha was out like a light.

You were also extremely tired, the night before you had worked all day and today you had gotten up early to have breakfast with Armin. As soon as you closed your eyes, you drifted off and began dreaming.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Y/n? Can we talk I'm seriously done with this entire- OH MY GOD YOU GUYS UMM SASHA UMM OKAY I'M COVERING MY EYES" you were awakened by Armin sobbing as he walked into the apartment you both share, his yelling woke Sasha up. Armin was now standing by the doorway with his hands up to his face covering his eyes, you could him blushing underneath his hands.

"Armin, stop we were just sleeping. Way to wake us up with your soothing voice," Sasha groaned as she left your lap, her hair was a mess and you noticed that she had been drooling on your lap.

"Umm yeah, actually Sasha's leaving right now. Is everything okay Armin?" you had just noticed that Armin's eyes were puffy and red, he kept sniffling every five seconds or so. Sasha however wasn't looking as if she was going to stay, she hurried and grabbed her purse from the couch and muttered an "I'll text you later y/n" as she ran past Armin and out the door.

"I didn't know Sasha was coming over..... sorry I thought you guys were naked on the couch, I just saw Sasha's head on your bare legs and I assumed something else," Armin sniffled as he closed the door and came to sit right next to you.

"Well you know to the average person, it would just be two girls sleeping on the couch fully clothed but since your eyes are full of tears...... I don't think you would have 20/20 vision." you looked closely at his face now, his entire face was covered in tears. When Armin gets depressed he starts pulling his hair out, I don't know why he does, but you saw signs of that right now as he sat beside you.

"Have you ever felt the need to just run away, just leave everything behind? Leave everyone you love behind," tears began to accumulate in Armin's eyes and you could feel him shake.

"Yeah, Armin calm down a bit Jesus. What happened that led you to cry like this?"

"After you left, I went inside the cafe since it was starting to get chilly outside. After a while, I wanted to buy another tea since mine was empty. That's when I saw her at the front counter," he paused, "I hadn't even noticed she walked in for her shift. I was already in line and if I got out I would've felt more embarrassed so I went up to order," his eyes drooped down sadly. "I asked for an iced black tea and she asked for my name as if all our memories were nothing to her as if everything we were just disappeared," you gasped as he spoke, Armin beginning to cry again.

"Hey it's not you Armin, maybe she didn't recognize you since you just cut your hair or maybe it was a force of habit?" you didn't like trying to defend Annie and you honestly didn't know why you were doing it, you knew she had seen Armin with his new hair cut. But you wanted to make Armin feel better somehow, take the hurt away. 

"I'm not finished," he gulped, "something happened inside of me that made me yell at her," he paused, "I said "Annie Leonhart, how could you forget my name? You took my virginity, you don't know the name of the person you stole their innocence" and then I immediately ran outside when I saw everyone just state at me. I even made eye contact with your barista crush, y/n it was so embarrassing," he held his face in his hands, groaning as he talked. You tried very hard to compose yourself but you couldn't do it any longer, you stifled a giggle. "Why are you laughing at my demise?"

"I'm sorry Armin- I just," your laughter spilled out, "pfft how could you say that or more how could you yell that at her? That is social suicide, we can never go back to that cafe ever again!" you held your hand over your mouth to contain the sudden burst, meeting Armin's sad eyes, you could see the hurt in them but then he began laughing as well.

"Now that I think about it, your barista crush looked like he was about to burst out laughing. I just ran out and completely missed our building so I ran the entire block crying, probably looking like a psychopath."

"I am so jealous you made eye contact with him, it should've been me...."

"You wanted to tell the entire coffee shop Annie Leonhart took your virginity when she only asked for your name? Oh lord, I sound so dramatic," his eyes widen, Armin's face turned beet red remembering the event that just happened. "Please tell me why Sasha was here to calm myself down."

"Oh god, don't get mad at me Armin. So Sasha come over totally unannounced and everything was cool I guess," it was going to be hard to explain to Armin how you shockingly agreed to be Sasha's friend with benefits, "Anyways we were talking and she started drawing the curtains and I said for why are you doing that and somehow we reached the conclusion of having a no strings attached relationship." You squinted your eyes as you told Armin what had happened, his eyes widened even more at this point,

"Please tell me you said no then knocked her out so then she fell asleep on the couch and that's it."

"No, we ended up making out on the couch," Armin slapped you on the arm and you made a loud noise, his nose was scrunched as he frowned at you. 

"You homewrecker! What about Niccolo?"

"Armin, do you even know what that means? Look she assured me that **_they_** decided to have an open relationship."

"AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT? HELLO? EARTH TO Y/N? Sasha Braus having an open relationship? Is that even legal?"

"Stop yelling for the love of God. Look I agreed without thinking about it, we'll probably end this before you know it! But," you clenched your teeth, "if I end up romantically falling in love with Sasha I'll be doomed," you rested your head on his shoulder as he shook his head.

"You know she's taking advantage of you," you looked towards Armin's face as he shook it, "she's putting you in a difficult position, did you even know she was into girls?"

"I agreed to it as well, it's not like she forced me into it," your eyes began to water, "some part of me feels as if this is right?" Armin rolled his eyes as you sunk further into the couch, "But don't worry, I told her the moment I wanted out it was over," you said feeling small. 

Armin didn't answer at all, he just looked at you. 

"Sasha's always wanted to experiment with her sexuality, well that's what she told me when I told her I was gay." 

"I just don't want you to get hurt y/n even now that you've made out twice. You can't let it go further than this, if you end up having sex then you'll get attached and feelings are gonna get hurt," Armin was right, for being a virgin you had never gotten that close to someone like that. You remember lying to Sasha about losing it because of how left out you felt, feeling horrible when you lied to her. 

"I'll end it okay?" as you spoke Armin nodded in agreement, "I will say though seeing her on top of me was kinda _hot,_ " you blushed as you remembered her hands behind your back unclasping your bra.

"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no, that is not happening in this house ever again! We are done discussing this, we're going to watch the empire strikes back and that is final! Mandalorian get over here you ugly cat, we require cuddles. Y/n get your ass in that kitchen woman and make some popcorn," you glared back at Armin with deceit in your eyes "actually fuck gender roles I'll go make the popcorn," he ran away as you picked the pillow up from the floor pretending to throw it at him. As you set it aside you grabbed Mandalorian off the ground and cuddled with her as Armin began making the popcorn.

* * *

[Next day]

You were awakened by loud shuffling noises, you groaned as you opened your eyes. To your surprise, it was Armin who was doing the shuffling. He had been cleaning up the floor he slept on last night, but he was doing it rather quickly.

"Can you calm down? I am trying to sleep over here!" you spoke into your pillow looking up at Armin's blurry face. You had taken off your contacts to go to bed last night but you hadn't remembered if you threw them away in the trash or not. 

"Y/n, it's 20 minutes until noon, don't you have a class at noon? Hello, English who?" your body shot upright when Armin spoke, you had forgotten to set an alarm to wake you up last night, dizzy you got up from the couch and rushed to your bedroom. You grabbed the nearest jeans and t-shirt from your drawer and fastly undressed from your sweats, you threw your clothing on as you ran to the kitchen to make coffee. You shoved all of your school supplies in your backpack and trudged to the bathroom to brush your hair and teeth, putting in a new set of contacts. You looked yourself in the mirror and almost gagged, you hadn't taken off your makeup from the day before so you ran a makeup wipe across your face and proceeded to do your hair and teeth. When you finished you grabbed your coffee pot and poured a cup for both Armin and you. 

"You go on ahead y/n, I'll clean up the living room! I have about twenty minutes until my next class and it's just down the street." Armin smiled as he saw you coming towards him with a cup of coffee, "Thank you!" 

"No, thank you savior almighty! I owe you one bestie," you winked as you grabbed your things and proceeded to leave your apartment. You ran super quick down the stairs and once you hit the streets, you bolted it down to College Boulevard where you had to be for your English class. You checked your phone and it was already 12:05, you knew you were going to be in deep shit, that class only held 23 students and you could see when someone wasn't there. As you found the building, you entered and took a breather. Then heading towards your class, as you arrived the professor and your classmates stared intently at you, "Glad you could join us Miss y/l/n, please take a seat." 

A boy who sat across from you had snickered loudly as you sat down, you naturally rolled your eyes at him. He had long brown hair and wore a black denim jacket paired with black skinny jeans. You eyed him with deceit for a brief moment and then returned your attention to the teacher. 

After class, you walked up to one of your friends, Historia Reiss, approaching her, the small petite girl smiled contently at you. "Y/n! That was one nice entrance you made back there, I hope everything's alright at home!" you kindly smiled at her, how could someone be so kind and sweet in this wrenched world.

"I'm good, Armin and I stayed up all night watching Star Wars! You know once we get into watching it he never wants to stop," she snickered at that, Historia had known Armin longer than you had but they hadn't seen each other in a long time. Armin had once spotted you leaving class with her and told you that they had both gone to the same high school. 

"Of course, he never hesitated to tell me when the next movie was coming out."

"Anyways, did I miss any important announcements? Like about the exam?" 

"Sorta, Professor Shadis never makes sense to me. He talked about maybe rescheduling the exam because of something, he was mumbling at the end. But then he said 'hahaha silly me I shouldn't do that' I don't know what's wrong with that man." as she spoke she looked at her apple watch on her wrist, "Oh is that the time? I have to go talk to my biochemistry professor, see ya!" Historia ran out of class as soon as she stopped speaking, her blonde hair perfectly waved you goodbye.

_God, what a beautiful woman._

You returned to your table and began picking up your notebook and coffee cup, you noticed you had an audience as you picked up your bag from the floor.

"Hey," you looked up and it was the boy who had snickered at your late arrival, he stood proudly above you. 

"Can I help you, sir?" his eyes meet up with yours and never left.

"Sir? Do I look seventy to you?" he gawked at you, he slightly resembled someone familiar to you but you shrugged it off.

"Okay, if this isn't going anywhere, you'll have to excuse me as my next lecture is across campus," you started heading towards the door when the boy ran along with you, you stared back at him.

"Cool, is it okay if I walk with you?" he eyes pleading as he bit his lips, his whole aura screamed, "hey mamas".

"I can't stop you from walking by me, but I can't guarantee you a nice conversation," you proceeded to leave the classroom and then the building, the day was gloomy and windy. As you walked around remembering where your next class was, you couldn't help but notice his eyes glancing towards you every five seconds.

"Look bro, I don't care if we walk together but the staring is going to lead you to your miserable death, got it?" you stop dead in your tracks, hoping for him to agree with you.

"You really don't recognize me, huh?" he licked his lips, smiling, of course. He looked familiar but not enough for you to remember his name or anything, maybe a past classmate? You didn't care enough to rack your brain about it. 

You gasped, "Oh my god! You're my long-lost brother, Jeremiah, where ever have you been?" you put your hands up against your chest pretending to be stunned, eventually laughing it off. 

"Wait, what?" his body shifted as he took out his phone. 

"It's a joke jackass, of course, I don't know you." 

"Lemme jog your memory, y/n," he finally shoved his phone up to your face, and as you looked into it your face felt hot. It was his tinder profile, looking back you remembered swiping right on him, your breath hitched. Your tinder phase was short-lived yet it still happened and there were plenty of men who you met from there that went to the same university as you. 

"Oh, holy shit," the wind got colder as you passed his name, "so you're Jean?" you pronounced Jean like a pair of jeans. Your stomach flipped, a tinder match had never confronted you in person, ever. 

"It's pronounced as John, but yes that is me. One of the men you swiped right on, baby girl." you almost threw up as he called you baby girl, you could've started to dry heave if you wanted to. This whole situation made you want to crawl inside a closet and scream. 

Thinking of something smart to say, you burst out, "You're a catfish!" You immediately regretted it as soon as the words came out of your mouth. For someone who slept a decent amount of words, your brain wasn't working at all. Stomping on his ego wasn't something you wanted to do. 

"Not in the ways that matter," he winked as he spoke, nevermind you wanted to burn and stomp on his ego until it was no more. 

"Okay? So, what's the point of confronting me about this? Do you want me to avoid you now because that's what's going to happen, JEAN," you scoffed as he slyly smiled at you, all you wanted was to punch that grin off his face. 

"I distinctly remember you promising me a date, I'm simply here to redeem that date." your cheeks flushed, way to promise a tinder boy a date y/n. 

You tried to rack your brain to remember when you had promised him a date, however, knowing your flirting ways. You were the type of person that had promised a lot of people a date, and when you did plan them; you eventually ghosted them and ended it. Too bad you had deleted your account, you didn't remember anything of your conversation with Jean. 

"You're serious? A date? I mean isn't this a date already? We're walking and talking, I've even dressed the part," as you looked down at your outfit, you remembered that you had put this together in two seconds due to your lateness. Clearly not a date-worthy outfit. 

"Look I don't care what we do or where we go, you just need to take me out and make me feel pretty," he fluttered his eyes and you almost giggled but you coughed to cover it up, "I'll make it easy for you, my best friend owns a diner downtown and he's throwing a little valentine's party this Saturday. Wanna be my eye candy?" He completely ignored your comment about this being a date, pfft how rude. 

You hesitated, your life was already complicated with the whole Sasha situation, you didn't want to get thrown into yet another relationship, "Hmmm, sounds tempting but-" you were cut off. 

"Alright, I already follow you on Instagram! I'll dm you the details!" Jean then winked at you and walked towards the psychology department, you gapped at what just happened. You didn't even get to FINISH!

You dragged your feet as you walked to philosophy, the idea of having to sit down and hear what some old dudes a thousand years thought about racism didn't seem appealing to you in way, shape, or form. At least you got to see Armin who had this class with you, he usually paid attention while you took a nap. 

"Hey y/n!" you could hear your friend say as you entered the lecture room, he liked sitting near the middle so you made your way to him. You sat down and let out the loudest sigh that even made the TA look back at you with a disapproving look. "Oh no, what happened now?" Armin squeezed your hand in a comforting manner as you sat down. 

"Oh you know the usual, just some random tinder match came up to me after class and asked me out to a valentine party, ugh Armin it hurts being as adorable and pretty as I am," he laughed (a little too hard" as you said that, almost in a condescending way. "Stop laughing so hard, I am pretty."

"You are pretty y/n, just that maybe it wasn't a smart idea to go on tinder? I know it's fun but in the end; do people even find real significant others through there?" 

"I have no idea, I haven't heard of many successful tinder dates, you remember that girl Ymir?" 

"Our old neighbor?"

"Yeah! Apparently, she found her ex-boyfriend on there but then again after they broke up and now she's lesbian and she also stopped using tinder," you made a face as you spoke, it wasn't a good example to use, "Look I don't know that was a bad example," you shuddered at the thought of dating Jean, he seemed like someone who peaked in high school. 

"Hey, can you please shut the fuck up? I'm trying to learn," a small girl spoke as the two of you gossiped, you avoided her stare and returned to listening to the professor. 

After class, you and Armin headed back home after getting something to eat from the cafe. It was barely 3 pm but the sky began to close up, giving a dark and gloomy ambient. As you walked back home in the cold, you realized how you should've brought a jacket. 

"God it's freezing out here, I should've grabbed a jacket before leaving this morning," what can you expect in the beautiful state of Illinois? 

"I'd give you my jacket y/n, but I know you're too stubborn to take it," Armin whimpered as the air furiously yelled, his voice was trembling at this point.

"No, I think I would take it actually," you gawked at him, you would kill for a jacket right now. 

"I can't hear you," Armin started running as he got on your apartment's street, holding the door for you as you both approached the complex. 

"You know what I can go for right now? A tea! Oh, wait Armin got us banned from the closest coffee shop for the REST OF OUR LIVES," you dramatically spoke, you were still shivering from being outside. 

"Shut up! We only have to wait for like a month or two or until I get facial reconstruction surgery," he sighed as he walked up the stairs, you followed closely.

That's when you remembered you had seen someone moving into the apartment next door.

"Hey Armin, did you by any chance see our new neighbor?"

"Wait, we got a new neighbor? God, we might have to stop by and say hello! That's a nice neighborly thing to do." you choked on your saliva as he said that, since when did Armin want to be a good samaritan? The last person who lived in that apartment, Ymir, often smoked weed in her apartment and every time Armin would complain that he was getting second-hand high, it got so bad that once Armin pounded at her door at 3 am because the smell prevented him from sleeping. 

"No. Absolutely, equitably no! We are not good people, let's finish our Star Wars marathon instead," Armin squealed as he ran up the stairs out of excitement. It didn't matter if the world was ending, Armin was always down to watch anything Star Wars related. Reaching your door, you began to unlock the door.

That was until you heard a familiar voice arise from behind you, startling both you and Armin. 

"Hey neighbor, mind if I borrow a cup of sugar?" 

* * *


	2. pictures of girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure where this story is going but I have a pretty good idea of what I want it to be :) I hope you guys enjoy it! WARNING HARSH LANGUAGE + SOME SEXUAL THINGS HAPPEN IN THIS CHAPTER!! Kinda just realized that I was going for the more slow-burn but whatever it's fine. ALSO, this entire fanfic kinda resolves the songs that are in the chapter titles, so this is pictures of girls by the wallows. also for reference, the whole c0vid thing ended earlier in this fic, and basically, no masks need to worn during this time! BUT IN REALITY, PLS WEAR UR MASKS AND STAY SAFE!!

Your breath hitched as Jean, your tinder match, stood in front of you shirtless. You could feel your face go completely red, and it seemed Jean had also seen this because he was smirking loudly. You stood at the door and dropped your book bag as you were amazed by the fact that _he_ was the one moving in next door. 

"Sugar? Can't you go to the store for that? It's barely like 4 pm," Armin had broken the silence as he set down his things and came back to stand next to you at the doorway. He was also blushing profusely, Jean's body was fairly toned and his abs were impressive. 

"It was a joke, I just wanted to check out my next-door neighbors," Jean had crossed his arms and you almost swooned as his biceps were now showing, how do you get _that_ ripped?

"Okay, hahaha, hilarious! We're going go back inside now," you began closing the door but Armin stopped you before it closed, shoving it back open. 

"Wait! Hi, I'm Armin Arlert and she's y/n y/l/n, if you ever need anything or just wanna hang out! We're almost always free," Armin had said with an eye smile, he was always so incredibly kind to everyone. You remembered the day you met him, you weren't the kindest towards him at orientation. However, the minute he heard of your home situation and how your parents had kicked you out, he openly offered if you wanted to be his roommate since his had bailed on him. You graciously agreed mainly because you had no other option, but you had regretted ever being a bitch towards him. 

But now wasn't the time to be nice to strangers, you shot him a look that could kill and he frowned at you. "Yeah, I'd be down for that. Quick question though." Jean retorted as he eyed you, when you met his eyes you shot yours straight back down. 

As you were about to answer, Mandalorian has escaped the apartment and graced his body against Jean's ankle, "Mandalorian, you sneaky lil rat," Armin had jumped at the cat and grabbed her, securing her in his hands, Armin was the only one capable of carrying Mandolorian. Every time you would try picking her up, she would simply show her fangs and alert you to put her back down, which you would. 

"Mandolorian? Oh, so you're a star wars fangirl? What's your favorite movie, mines the phantom menace," Jean had a smug look on his face as he spoke, grossing you out to the max.

You glanced at him and rolled your eyes, "First, I'm not the fangirl it's Armin. Second, the phantom menace is probably the worst star wars movie and there's no discussion about it." Armin nodded as you spoke, you wondered if Jean simply said that because he wanted to impress you both. Jean chuckled and leaned back into the frame of his door, you hadn't noticed before but as you sneaked a peek into his apartment; it was a complete mess. 

"I see, well I mean everyone has their opinions of course. Armin if you're ever down maybe we could have a marathon one day," he smiled towards Armin and he nodded in agreement, you were strongly against the idea but you didn't want to blurt it out. "Shit, I never introduced myself! Hi, I'm Jean Kirstein, your new neighbor," he winked at you both as he spoke, of course, you forced yourself to not react and stood there mimicking his actions by crossing your arms. 

"Well nice to meet you!" there was a moment of silence where you all kept looking at each other, "Didn't you have a question for us? Sorry, my little kitty interrupted you!" Armin spoke as he showed off Mandalorian, the cat was not amused that Armin had been carrying her but the cat was far too lazy to struggle. 

"Oh yeah, you two live together, correct? Are you like a thing, a couple, friends with benefits? What's the situation?" Armin's smile dropped as he looked in disgust, which offended you because why did the thought of you guys dating bring such revulsion, you liked to believe that you were okay looking. 

"No, we're not a thing. Like nothing is going on between us," Armin shook his head furiously, he had even started to chuckle. 

"What a guy and a girl can't live together?" you weren't looking at neither Jean nor Armin, you were still flustered by the sight of Jean standing there shirtless so you tried your best to avoid eye contact with him. 

"I didn't mean to offend you guys I was merely curious," Jean played with his long hair nervously, "Well I have to get back to unpacking and everything. It was nice meeting you Armin, I'll see you Saturday night tinder girl," he winked at you as he removed himself from the door frame and entered his apartment, Armin's eyes widened as he returned his gaze at you. 

"NO FREAKING WAY! Him? That's the tinder match, you're kidding? Y/n he's smoking!" Armin giggled as he spoke, slapping his hand over his mouth. He was always this dramatic with every little thing. 

"Shut up, omg these walls are thin! Can we please speak about this in our apartment," you tried to stifle the anger you felt, you were yelling but whispering at Armin as you grabbed him inside. You turned on the kitchen light as you both settled in, Armin then sat down with Mandolorian as he began refilling her water bowl. "Yes, that's my tinder match. God, why do these things happen to me? I was really hoping that I could dodge his messages and ditch him on Saturday, but now he lives freaking across from us," you groaned. 

"Well, you know he's really attractive and if he's interested in you, why not go for it?" Armin looked up at you with his big eyes, those clear blue hues made you feel relaxed inside. 

"I don't think he's interested in me, he seems like a fuckboy so no. I think he follows me on Instagram, want to do some investigating?" you smirked as you took your phone out from your butt pocket, you weren't the type of person to use Instagram 24/7 but you used it to stalk your friends and their crushes back in high school. As you found the app on your phone, you had five notifications, one from Jean who had started following you and the rest were him liking the only four photos you had up. Two of them were of you and Sasha in your Tumblr phase and the rest were graduation and birthday posts. "therealjeankirstein, that is such a douche bag username," you muttered as you clicked on his name, he had eleven posts up so far however his followers to the following ratio spooked you the most. 32,304 followers to 399 following. 

"Is this dude a celebrity or something? Like he gets a good amount of likes on all of his posts, that's insane," Armin was confounded as he pulled closer to you, you were astounded that he even decided to follow you first, why did you feel so special? As you scrolled the majority of his posts were of him at the gym or paintballing and the occasional party post.

"Wait a minute, this photo of him partying is from April 14th, 2020," you paused as you thought back during that time, "this was during quarantine! That sleaze bag! What if he was an anti-masker when this was all happening? We have to move." You had taken the virus going around very seriously, your grandpa had suffered for a long time because of it. Even if the virus panic was over and left after May of last year, you didn't feel comfortable living near someone like that. 

"Stop making up excuses to move, maybe it was throwback Thursday or whatever. Anyways if you scroll one up, he's wearing a mask at the gym." you laughed as you heard Armin say 'throwback Thursday' you didn't even remember the last time you saw someone post one. You chuckled as you kept stalking his page, you stopped on a post that was from a year ago, it was of Jean and a girl with jet black hair. She was form-fitted and smirked as she posed for the picture, Jean's hand wrapped around her waist. His smile seemed so genuine, so happy. 

"Well, she's gorgeous! You know what they say, hot people belong together." Armin exclaimed, you both had been leaning against the island in your kitchen. You sighed as you kept staring at the post, you didn't feel anything for Jean but you were jealous of the way he was holding onto the girl. It looked like they truly liked each other, you longed for that feeling of happiness. "Oh shoot, y/n I'm sorry I mean you're also hot! You and Jean would look amazing together," you punched Armin in the arm as he spoke.

"I'm not jealous and I'm not looking for a relationship with Jean. I just think it must be nice having someone there for you," you bit your lip as you spoke, you clicked on the photo and noticed the girl had been tagged in it. Her username was ackerman.mikasa but to your surprise it was private. 

"Well, she's an activist and she graduates from Northwestern in 2022, bold of him to leave that picture up if they're over! Well I mean they obviously are since he asked you out and is on tinder," Armin yawned as he spoke, he began walking towards his room, "I think you should stop stalking and study for your exam, you aren't going to miraculously pass doing nothing." he gave you small smile and closed his door. 

You picked up your book bag off the phone and grabbed yourself a small snack from the pantry, you sat on the couch working on a practice essay question for about an hour or so until you saw a text from Sasha.

from: salsa <3

hey, are u free right now?

to: salsa <3

umm yeah I mean I've been studying but what's up?

you replied and continued, Sasha either took ten seconds to respond or three hours. 

from: salsa <3

well, you wanted to start jujutsu kaisen so I was wondering if you wanted to come over and do that right now?

to: salsa <3 

umm yes I'll be over in like twenty minutes

You were excited to go over to Sasha's house but you were also hesitant about going over to the apartment that Niccolo and her shared, hopefully, it was just a normal friendly hangout. You got up from the couch and walked to your room, you changed into a pair of mom jeans and a tank top and put your hair down. You made your way to the door and stopped as you heard Armin walk out from his room. "Where are you going trooper?" he was rubbing his eyes and yawned as he spoke. 

"Oh I just need to go drop something off at Hange's place!" you knew if you had said anything about Sasha that Armin wouldn't let you go so you peacefully lied to him and walked out into the hallway. You hoped to not run into Jean and to your surprise you didn't, you trotted down the stairs and headed off your merry way. You stopped in your tracks as you remembered that you had to pass the coffee shop that resonated next to your apartment, you normally went every morning but you didn't today mainly because you were late but also because of the whole Armin-Annie thing. Now you weren't sure when you'd ever go again. You walked out of the building you lived in and made your way down the street. As you were about to pass the coffee shop, Annie came out with cleaning supplies. You paused as she walked in front of you, she looked back and looked straight at you. You continued to walk and passed straight in front of her, you both hadn't spoken in a long time and you wanted it to stay like that. 

You heard a small voice from behind you as you walked past Annie, "hey y/n?" 

"What?" you turned around and met eyes with Annie. She was a small blonde girl but her looks were deceiving; she was arrogant and hotheaded. But at that moment, as you stood in front of her; you noticed her hair was messy and she appeared thinner than usual. 

"Is he okay?" you had never seen her like this, she looked as if she were holding back tears. Her eyes were downturned and heavy peering at you, as much as you grew a hatred for her. You wanted to sympathize with her, Armin wasn't the only one who seemed to be broken amidst their breakup, Annie's feelings were as valid as Armin's. 

You couldn't help but snap back at her though, it was just your natural reaction, "What do you think?" 

"Just promise me," she bit her lip and looked up, she sounded empty as she spoke, "promise me that you'll be there for him." Annie breathed out as if she were holding onto this, of course, you were taken back. You had never seen Annie show so much emotion, she wouldn't even react to a puppy dying in a movie. Had what happened yesterday made her feel guilty? If she knew how sensitive Armin was, why would she pretend to not know his name?

_No, y/n. Stop thinking about her feelings and put Armin first. Armin the boy who comforts you when you have a bad day, the one who never breaks eye contact with you when you talk to him about life, stop thinking about other people._

"I am and always will be," without any thought, you turned around and continued your journey to Sasha's house. You didn't care if Annie had anything else to say, you didn't want to hear it. 

Although Armin and you got closer, you were still always in the dark when it came to their relationship. You recalled the day Armin had introduced you to Annie, it was late December of last year. And you had only heard about Armin going on a few dates with her but you never thought it was serious enough for him to formally introduce her to you. She arrived wearing a plain white dress that cinched at her waist, it seemed like an outfit Armin had told her to wear as you thought back on it. "Y/n, this is Annie Leonhart, Annie this is my roommate," you stuck your hand out as Armin introduced you to each other, she tightly responded to your handshake. Her shake was relatively firm and you grimaced as she squeezed it, "Oh sorry, I have the habit of giving out harsh handshakes," Annie said as she pulled her hand back, you replied "More like bone breaking aha," you giggled and Armin joined, Annie looked uncomfortable but smiled nervously. You three were then joined by Annie's old friend Reiner who came along to be your date for the night. Reiner was a gentleman and polite however, he wasn't the type of guy you would usually go for. The four of you went out to dinner and afterward, you went to a small party held by Reiner's frat, which naturally turned into a disaster as both Reiner and Armin got embarrassingly drunk, leaving you and Annie to walk Armin back home. The way back home was silent, you occasionally asked her questions about her major and family but, nothing too introspective. However, when you got back home Annie laid Armin on the couch and placed the trashcan near him, "The last time he got drunk was the first time we met, I took him back to my dorm, and well he puked all over my room." she smiled softly, she was shrugging as she looked at Armin sleeping peacefully. "Love at first sight?" you giggled as you spoke, you didn't expect her to answer at all. "Yeah, it was." That interaction made you trust Annie with Armin, of course, now that everything had happened. Could you ever trust Annie again?

You were walking as you thought back, in turning the next corner, you finally arrived at Sasha's apartment complex. Niccolo was a few years older than Sasha and had a grown-up job so they lived fairly comfortably, however now that they've "opened" their relationship you wondered if Sasha was going to keep living there. You reached the rusty brown gate surrounding the complex and typed in the password, with the beep you allowed yourself in. Unlike your apartment building, Sasha's complex was entirely outside and felt a lot safer. As you passed multiple apartments, you finally arrived at hers. When you walked up to ring the doorbell, the door swung open; pushing you backward. 

"Y/n! Oh, dear! I didn't see you, I have a meeting with a company friend and I was rushing. Apologies, but I must get going. It was nice seeing you!" Niccolo had popped out and scurried along, his dark caramel eyes met yours. Your cheeks flushed as he touched your shoulder and said goodbye, no words came out from you during the entire interaction. He had always seemed in a hurry whenever you came over, so you hardly knew the man. 

Niccolo had left the door open so you entered without hesitation, Sasha was always big on decoration and her apartment was living proof of it. The current theme of the house was 'Spanish Villa' as you grew up in a small village near Arizona, you were familiar with the vibe she was looking for so naturally, you helped to pick decor. You sat your purse down and sniffed the air, Sasha was making nachos. As you followed the smell into the kitchen, you spotted Sasha taking out a pan from the oven. 

"Y/n! Be a sweetheart and grab some plates for us, I'm totally dying to try this new nacho recipe" Sasha had always been fascinated with food ever since you were young, you pondered on the day you sat in her kitchen until 3 am, tasting all of her pastries that she made after her first breakup. You turned to the side and opened the cabinet door, carefully grabbing two metal plates. You set them down for Sasha to serve you both.

"Are you excited or what? I heard the opening of this show was God sent!" Sasha beamed as she spoke, using a spatula as she laid the nachos on your plate. The light in her eyes radiated as she keenly looked at you, Sasha had a way of looking at you as if you were the only person in the world. You blushed as you looked down, it wouldn't be that bad falling in love with Sasha, she was kind and selfless. You shook that thought out as you remembered your interaction with Niccolo.

"Yeah! But I think I'm more excited for these nachos, I swear Sasha you are the long-lost daughter of Gordon Ramsey."

Sasha blushed profusely, "Stop that, you're gonna make me cry! I hope you enjoy them, I told Niccolo not to spend a long time making the recipe for me." she chuckled as she grabbed both of your plates and proceeded to walk through the door left of her. You followed closely behind her, you were now in her living room. Unlike the rest of the house, Sasha's living was filled to the brim of bookshelves filled with cookbooks, movies, and manga; basically, a dream come true. She set the food on the coffee table in front of the couch and motioned for you to sit on the couch beside her. 

"Sub or dub?" Sasha asked as you sat down, the nachos had been eyeing you ever since they came out of the oven.

"Why do you even ask, miss attention span of a fruit fly," you laughed as you brought the plate of nachos closer to you, Sasha rolling her eyes as she stole one of your chips.

"Umm, you have a whole ass plate of nachos in front of you, this is nacho cheese!" Sasha snorted at your joke, covering her mouth afterward which then lead to more laughing on both your parts.

As the laughing died down, Sasha turned on the TV and began searching for the show; while she did that, you finally took a bite of your nachos and nodded your head as you swallowed. "I'd marry these nachos," you both giggled, and with that, you began the intense bingeing.

After about 6 episodes, you offered to wash Sasha's dishes, "You know you don't have to do that. Niccolo will probably end up eating the leftover nachos and therefore it leaves him with that duty," she was laying down, legs on top of your lap.

"Please, you know the sight of unclean dishes gives me the hibbie jibbes," you grabbed Sasha's legs and laid them back on the couch so you could get out, grabbing the dishes off from the table.

As you proceeded to go into the kitchen, you noticed a new picture frame from the wall, it was a picture of Sasha and Niccolo hugging on a lawn. You smiled as you walked into the kitchen, turning on the hot water to began scrubbing. As you said before, you didn't know much about Niccolo. Sasha and Niccolo had first started dating in her senior year of high school, you weren't fond of 18-year old Sasha dating a 20-year-old and you often urged Sasha to get out of the relationship. She never listened of course, but after seeing how happy Sasha was with him you couldn't complain. When you both graduated, you had thought of living together throughout college; however, with you going to Northwestern and Sasha going to culinary school, you couldn't share a dorm. That's when Niccolo offered her to stay at his apartment, you knew this was a big step in the relationship so naturally, you encouraged it. If you had known your parents were going to throw you out after not going to the college they attended, you would've begged Sasha not to move in with him. The thought of what would happen if they didn't move in together crept into your mind, what would've happened to their relationship?

You were so deep in thought that you hadn't noticed you finished washing the dishes, you placed all the dishes on the rack beside the sink and grabbed a towel from below the sink to dry your hands. "You done washing?" Sahsa had screamed from the other room, impatient was an understatement.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," you said as you began walking towards the living room, "Okay I'm- here," you stepped into the now lowly dimmed living room, Sasha had moved the coffee table out of the way and there she laid on a blanket on the floor. "Uh, what're you doing?"

"Come on, sit down!" She was now biting her lip and tilting her head as she gestured for you to sit. You nervously made your way to the floor and sit down crisis crossed, avoiding eye contact with her.

She titled your head and her warm deep eyes met with yours, "I think it's time to stop watching TV for a while," she slowly went in for a kiss, deepening it as she moved closer to you. Your heart beat faster as she moved her hand up to your cheeks, you sunk into the floor as she pressed her tongue against yours. As you laid down, Sasha threw her legs over and was now on top of you. Without any thought, your hands moved in towards her lower end, squeezing as she bit your lip. Before you knew it, she was looking down at you as she unbuttoned her shirt, your breath hitched: never had you seen Sasha from this perspective. You started to miss her lips against yours, you were sure that Sasha caught note of this because she then started taking longer, even putting her hair up in a ponytail. Her eyes vivid with color, you could feel them undressing you as you laid on the floor. All you felt were the butterflies in your stomach. She revealed a black bralette that was clearly see-through, your toes curled as she bent down to kiss you again. Your lips parted, and you were welcomed by that warm sensation again, your tongues fought for dominance, however, Sasha began unclasping your pants which made you give into her. "Take off your shirt, and hurry," Sasha breathed out, you followed suit but seeing you take longer than usual, Sasha yanked it off you.

She began kissing your neck and a moan escaped your mouth, you felt lightheaded. She passed by your breasts and she began sliding off your pants. Before you knew it, your pants were off and thrown to the side. Sasha smiled mischievously as she kissed your thighs, you bit your tongue as you tried not to moan. Feeling nothing but butterflies in your stomach, Sasha began sliding off your panties, you panicked.

_No, this was not happening._

You opened your mouth to stop her but that's when you felt her hot breath on your clit, another moan escaped from your mouth. 

"SASHA WAIT!" you yelled as she looked at you bewildered, you could feel your cheeks burn. You were now breathing harder than ever before.

"What? What's wrong?" Sasha was still kneeling before you, you could still feel her hot breath as she spoke.

"I'm not ready yet."

"Y/n, you're already wet, let me at least finish what I started," that's when she started licking, her tongue going up and down. You moaned out her name as she continued, your breath hitched, you had never felt this kind of sensation. You were almost entranced by Sasha's tongue until you snapped out of it. You knew that if this went any farther you'd feel guilty. 

"I SAID NO SASHA! DO YOU HEAR ME? NO!" you pushed back, tears started accumulating in your eyes. Sasha, however, looked agitated and scoffed as you pushed back, you rarely saw Sasha mad but as looked at her, you noticed the anger in her eyes.

"Then why did you come over y/n? What was the point?" she said as she used her shirt to clean off her mouth.

"I wanted to hang," your voice cracked, tears raced down your cheeks, "out with my best friend." Sasha rolled her eyes and tossed your pants towards you, she looked away as you cried.

Silence overcame you both, it felt like an eternity. Your eyes pleaded for Sasha to look over at you, to realize that this wasn't meant to happen. Sasha finally stood up and mumbled out, "Close the door when you leave," she then walked past you and through the hallway. You clenched your hands, that was it? Seven years of friendship down the drain. 

You had no idea what you felt. Anger? Betrayal? Lust? No amount of words could describe what you were feeling.

As you stood up, you grabbed your clothing and hurriedly put them on. You didn't want to spend another second in that room. As you walked out, a voice inside you begged for you to go check up on Sasha. Screaming, 'she's still your best friend, only you can make her feel better,' you scoffed, "That's not my best friend."

You walked out and glanced at your phone, it was 9:12 pm. You walked through the apartment complex, replaying what just happened. How her breath felt against your skin, goosebumps overwhelmed your body as you thought of her touch. Truth be told, you don't know why you stopped it. You clearly were enjoying yourself and even if this was new to you, at least it was with Sasha. You shook the thought off as you reached the noisy street, it was a particularly chilly night. You dragged your feet as you walked back home, you regretted not checking up on Sasha before leaving.

Your eyesight was blurry as you reached your street, people stared at you as you walked past them. You could imagine how puffy your eyes were, how your cheeks dripped with tears, how your hair had been messed up from laying on the floor, how chapped your lips were. That's when you realized that you couldn't go back home, not without stirring an argument with Armin.

As you reached the coffee shop, you nudged your head towards the door, you knew if Annie was there that you'd be embarrassed. The coffee shop closed at 10 pm every night; however usually only the older employees worked the night shifts, so you thought it was safe to get a cup of tea. 

As you opened the door and heard the bell ring, you found yourself completely alone. You noticed there weren't any customers around, at this time the tables would be loaded with college students rushing to make that 11:59 deadline, but to your surprise, there was none in sight. You sat down at the table near the bathroom and just breathed. Inhaling and exhaling, trying to calm yourself down as much as possible. Your heart no longer felt like it was going to leap out, you sighed as you stabilized your breathing.

"Oh shit! How long have you been there?" you heard a familiar voice behind you, as you turned your head, you already knew who it was.

Crap.

His hair was tied back like always, he had on an apron and all-black clothing underneath. He licked his lips as you stared at him, he moved in closer. "Woah, are you okay?" possibly the worst words he could've uttered.

You felt the tears coming back up, you bit the inside of your lips to prevent them from coming.

"You know what, don't answer that! Let me make you a cup of green tea to settle your nerves," his hair flowed as he rushed towards the counter, he frantically began making your tea. Seeing him rush to make your tea made you want to cry even harder. You closed your eyes as you heard the sound of him making your tea, starting all over with your breathing exercises.

As you regained your breathing, the boy made his way to the other side table and sat down, laying the teacup in front of you. You muttered a "thank you" as you took a sip from the tea, it was still too hot but you drank it anyway.

"You have incredible luck, Friday nights are hell. It's spooky that no one else is here," you looked up, his emerald eyes shimmered in the light. There was a voice inside of you that wanted to talk to him, but you continued to sip on your green tea. "Y/n, right? Pretty name." you looked up as he spoke your name, the moment he said your name you were confused. Then you recalled that he was a barista and that you had definitely given it to him before.

"Thanks," was all you managed to sputter out, sure you were trying to control your feelings but having admired him from afar in the past made you even more nervous.

"Look....." he began saying, he had been fiddled with his fingers as you both had sat in silence, "I don't know your situation, but it'll get better......" he paused and grimaced as he spoke, "Okay wait that..... probably didn't help, God." you giggled at this, it was hard comforting someone without knowing about them but you smiled as he tried.

"Don't worry about it, I'm probably overreacting if I'm being honest," you shrunk into your seat, you made effort in trying to avoid making eye contact but every time you looked up, his large eyes consumed you.

"You know, I'm basically your personal bartender at the moment. My lips are completely sealed," he motioned to zip up his lips, you both giggled at this. You weren't the type of person to pour their soul out in front of a random stranger but you thought 'how bad could this be?'

You exhaled as you spoke, "A friend of mine and I started umm umm we sort of...." you couldn't bring yourself to say anything about the matter, it felt heavy in your mouth.

"Got together?"

"Yes and no.......... it didn't go too far but far enough to somewhat maim our friendship," you began to play with your hair, the front two pieces felt static as you touched them.

"Hmm, and how do you feel about that?"

"I was relieved when we stopped, but also hurt. They made me feel things I had never felt before, I felt safe in their embrace," you hugged yourself now, looking down at the chestnut brown tables.

"Then why'd you stop," your eyes met his.

"Because I know they didn't feel the same way I do...........she already has someone," your voice cracked, it was weird talking about Sasha out loud like a romantic partner.

"Wait, she's in love with someone else?" his smile slowly changed into a frown, you felt as if you were spinning.

You wanted to scream out no but you knew that she did love him, "Yeah....."

"And you love her?" his words echoed in your head, yes, of course, you loved Sasha as a friend. But what about as a romantic partner? Were you even capable of loving someone? You remembered how she sat on your body, her hair glistened as she smiled down at you..........yes you did love her romantically.

"She was my best friend for seven years, when we first kissed..... I felt something I never had before."

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"I didn't realize what that feeling was until tonight when it fell apart." The silence began again, you glanced outside as you inhaled, the lamplight outside was flickering fast and faster until it blew out leaving the end of the street completely dark. Shivers went down your body, you downed your drink as you felt cold again.

"You're gonna need something way stronger than tea my friend," you laughed at this, genuinely laughed. This situation was humorous for someone like you. For someone who never confessed to anyone, who had never even been asked to the prom, who had never experienced spending the holiday with their significant other. That boyfriend you had in senior year of high school made you feel nothing compared to the butterflies you felt with Sasha. 

You scoffed as you finished laughing, "Not if I bottle up my emotions, and just let it consume me until I can't no more."

"You're okay with pretending you're okay?" he tilted his head as he looked at you, he was still frowning like before. You wondered what he thought of you, having seen you come in almost every day for the past year and only uttering five words to him every time; to him see you breakdown in front of him.

"Yeah, I guess I am," you suddenly then stood and pushed in your chair, he looked up and smiled softly, "How much do I owe you for the tea?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm feeling generous tonight," he smirked back at you as stood up and walked past you to get behind the counter, he began cleaning up.

"Thank you- Oh, I don't think I ever asked you your name," you walked back towards the entrance still staring at him, he smiled again and looked down.

"It's Eren, Eren Yeager," you smiled back at him then proceeded to walk out of the coffee shop. You looked up at your apartment window, the light was still on despite the time being past Armin's bedtime. You took out your phone and turned on the front camera, your face was completely red and your hair looked like a bird's nest. You knew you couldn't come back home without being questioned by Armin, you had only one option left.

Hange.

You quickly tapped on your messages icon on your phone and wrote a text to Armin.

To: Futon Master :]

hey, decided to stay over at hange's! don't stay up waiting for me <3

You exited out of the messages app and pressed down on the Uber app, you hurriedly requested a ride and waited. You had seen Armin respond and instantly looked up at your apartment window to check if he had gone to bed, as you looked the lights turned off. Every time you went out at night, Armin wouldn't go to bed until you texted him or arrived back home, he was more than a roommate; he was family. 

You waited about ten minutes when your uber ride arrived, you lazily got into the backseat muttering a simple, "hello" as the driver welcomed you. The car ride to Hange's house was unfortunately long due to Chicago's beautiful traffic, it would usually take you about 25 minutes but tonight it took you around 40 to get there. As you arrived you graciously thanked the driver and crept out looking at the townhouse before you. 

Hange was a neurologist and their husband, Moblit, was a nurse, so they basically made bank. You cautiously made your way through the yard, Hange's house was like any other, however, it strongly resembled a house you would see in a 90s movie. Tall and wide in length, the house was definitely big for only having two people live there. As you reached the metal gate, you pressed on the intercom bottom. 

"Hange? It's y/n, sorry for the short-" you were interrupted as you spotted your sibling Hange open the front door and run out to you. They rushed to get the gate in front of you open and attacked you with a hug as soon as they did. 

"You idiot! It's below twenty degrees outside, do you want to die?" they wrapped you with both of their arms and carried you back inside, Hange was always this overdramatic. They were also over-affectionate 24/7, if they weren't cuddling or hugging you; there was probably something wrong with them. 

"Hange, we're inside now. Hange. Hange. HANGE!" you yelled as you both arrived inside, the first thing you saw once you get into their house was the huge ass staircase. Hange, not letting you go, maneuvered through their dining room and into the living room where you were then placed in front of the fireplace. They were still gripping onto you, "Hange, I'm not cold."

"Oh, my twitchy, witchy girl! I think you are so nice! I give you bowls-" you joined in with them singing as they recited a poem that came from one of your favorite movies, "of porridge, I give you bowls of ice cream," you both laughed as you looked into the glistering fire.

"It's been so long since you came to visit me y/n, Moblit and I are so lonely!" Hange was still cuddling you unfortunately, they were like a koala bear. Giving in, you laid your head on top of theirs. 

Until you realized, "You dumb whore, I came here last week! Remember, I brought you those empanadas that Armin and I made," you managed to push Hange off as they gave you a puzzled look. "Yes, we had that twilight marathon! Moblit fell asleep during Eclipse and we screamed his ear off because he didn't see the fight scene we had been hyping up for him!" you shook your head as they finally nodded and laughed, Hange was a beautiful person. You say that because people mistook you for each other, "aren't you two twins?".

"God, look at the time pass us by!" they nuzzled their head in the crook of your neck, as you both looked into the fire, you felt as if you were able to breathe normally again. That's when you realized that Hange had seen your puffy red eyes and hadn't asked anything. 

"You haven't asked why I'm here, or if I'm okay," you whispered to Hange, they moved away and looked at you.

They grabbed you with both of their hands and squished your cheeks, "I wish you didn't have to come over here for a reason! But, I did notice you looked unstable. However, I don't think you came over here for a lecture and I don't want to give one. So I'm letting it pass this time," they smiled softly. Hange had your mom's eyes, those big wide eyes that made you feel warm inside. 

"Wow, who are you and what have you done with Hange?" you rubbed your eyes, Hange stared at you for a little bit longer until they stood up and yawned. 

"Moblit went out for some Chinese food, sadly we ordered the family pack so you will not be eating. What a shame!" Hange had walked over to the kitchen and you obediently followed behind.

"Wait the Chinese place near your work, Linh Nam?" Hange nodded as she grabbed three glasses from her cabinet, "The family pack feeds like eight people!"

"I'm eating for two now y/n" your eyes grew bigger than Russia, did they just confess that they were pregnant?

"Woah! UMM hello? When did you get pregnant?" Hange began laughing as hard as ever, jumping up and down trying to control themself. 

"YOU THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT! NO THE LOOK OF YOUR FACE, I COULD'VE DIED TRULY!" you looked unamused as they fell on the floor laughing, Hange always loved laughing at their own jokes. All. Of. Them.

"Okay, haha haha, so funny. Can I please eat with you guys?" 

"Yes, of course, drama queen," Hange then asked you to help set up the table because Moblit was to be there at any minute. That night was filled with laughter as you all talked about recent events, you told Hange about Jean, the tinder date, and you couldn't get them to stop laughing. They thoroughly loved hearing about it and you smiled to yourself as you thought about it as well.

That night, you ended up sleeping in their guest bedroom.

The following morning you decided to not stay for breakfast, since you had an 11:30 am class and you still wanted to talk to Armin before going to it. When you arrived home, you told Armin that last night you hadn't gone straight to Hange's house, that you first visited Sasha. You mentioned nothing of what actually happened just that Sasha and you had a falling out and to not expect her at the house anymore. 

Armin, being the way he was, didn't ask any questions and hugged you instead. You then made coffee and eventually walked off to campus together.

That morning you realized that Sasha had blocked you on Instagram, Snapchat, and your number. 


	3. the basement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again SOMEWHAT VULGAR OR HARSH LANGUAGE! also if you're reading this mwah I adore you !!!! this chapter is dedicated to the basement by lunar vacation! I mainly used this for the name of the song itself because the meaning is different from what's going on in this story, but whatever lol who cares.

(time skip to Saturday morning)

A certain smell awoke you, the distinct smell of lingering vanilla. You did not want to get up, at all. You well anticipated Saturdays' because you didn't have class those days, however this time around, you had been dreading it because of _Jean._

Yesterday, when you arrived at home after school you noticed that he wasn't around which was good since he hadn't contacted you since Tuesday. If you didn't have the information about the party, then clearly you didn't have to go. However, as you were about to open your front door, you heard his husky voice say, "I don't know if it's implied, but make sure to wear pink or red tomorrow." 

You groaned as you turned around, Jean had been wearing a "Northwestern" grey hoodie and black sweatpants, "You haven't even told me where this diner is, how am I suppose to meet you there?"

"Meet me there? Babygirl, I live right across from you, we're rolling in together," he winked and you fake gagged as he spoke. To think you had to spend an entire evening with that man-made you shudder. 

"Then what time are we meeting?" 

"Well, it's an all-day sort of thing at the diner, but the real party starts around 5," he smirked as he leaned into his door, you frowned at "the real party starts at 5" was that code for something? Clearly, you didn't want to stay out too long, however, if the "party" started at 5 you knew you were probably going to arrive home late. 

"Okay weirdo, I actually have work from 10 to 3 tomorrow so it works out for me. I'll knock at your door when I'm ready," you turned the knob on your front door and began to walk inside your apartment when you felt a large hand grab hold of your wrist. You rapidly turned back around to see your face a few inches away from Jean's, you looked down at his chin and noticed a little scuffle but your eyes caught sight of his plump pink lips. He smelled of cedarwood and coconut, it was faint before, but as he stood inches away, it was all you could smell.

As you both stood there closely, he looked down and realized that he was still holding your hand, immediately letting go of it, "Uh, sorry.... didn't mean to do that. I just had one more question," you nodded as he backed away towards his apartment, you wanted to say something but you were left speechless as your heart pounded. "Where do you work?" he scratched his head nonchalantly, he sure went through a lot of trouble just to know where you worked. 

"Don't laugh, but I work at the children's museum near Navy Pier," Jean faintly smiled, you had worked there for about two years now and people usually made fun of you for having such a boring job but it was a place you genuinely enjoyed being at. 

"Okay, did not think you could get any cuter but here we are," as he spoke those words, you were unsure of how to react and rushed inside of your apartment closing the door. You then leaned against your door and slid back down to the floor, you always called yourself cute and hot in a joking manner. Sure you would have the occasional person come up to tell you were cute when you were at a party, but that was to get in your pants. But hearing Jean say it out loud so casually made your heart race, you were unsure of why you reacted like this. You hadn't grown close to Jean in any way, yet he managed to make you feel all mushy inside. 

* * *

"Um not to be annoying or anything but it's like 7:55 and you have to leave at 9:30," you snapped back to the present day, Armin popped his head into your room, he smiled at you as you lifted your head to look at his blurry self. As you were about to respond, Armin unexpectedly stepped inside your room and sighed, "oh my god, you're a pig." He grabbed your pink trash can up from the floor and began throwing everything in it, your eyes rolled at the sight.

"Armin," you groaned out, every once in a while he would come into your room to do a sweep through just to make sure nothing “hazardous” was "procuring" under your nose, "Look I'm getting up!" you stood up as you spoke, feeling light-headed. 

"God, if my mom looked at this mess...... you'd be fed to the pigs," he looked up at you in horror, shaking his head as he put down your trash can and left your room. Good thing you weren't living with Armin's mom, if she were anything like her son, then you'd be getting scolded every second of the day. 

You proceeded to make your bed and headed off to take a shower, as you passed the kitchen you saw Armin begin to cook his pancakes. After you got out of the shower, you threw on your green polo and khakis that were mandatory for work. You decided to quickly straighten your hair for the day and do a "no-makeup" makeup look. After putting in your contacts, you headed towards the kitchen. Not to your surprise, Armin had already made you coffee and served you three pancakes. He had them ready on a plate for you at the dining table right next to him. 

As you approached him and sat down in the chair beside him, he spoke, "Well, well, well, someone looks nice and clean today! Ahh let me remember, oh yes tonight is the tinder date!" he wiggled his eyebrows. You had to admit, you loved the way you looked when you straightened your hair and you were planning to do some eye makeup when you got home from work. So maybe you were trying to impress someone. 

"No big deal, just two classmates going to a valentine's party together." you took a sip of coffee as you watched Armin's smile drop, he silently began to clean up his area. It was unusual for Armin's mood to change that quickly, he was a vivacious person and little to nothing brought him down. He was now in front of the sink in the kitchen, "what's wrong?" you asked as you inhaled an entire pancake. 

He stared at you with those big eyes of his, "Valentine's day........it's Monday, right?" you nodded as you understood. _Annie._ You took a long sip from your coffee, eyeing Armin as if he were going to break down crying. "I bought Annie's gift this year a month in advance," you looked up in horror as you heard Armin turn the faucet on. 

"Oh lord, what did you buy her?" you proceeded to inhale the other pancake, usually Armin would yell at you for the lack of chewing but he just stared at the water rushing out from the faucet.

You stared at his blonde hair, you thought back to the time when you arrived home a day after Annie and he broke up. Armin use to have long luscious blonde hair and he'd usually pull it back into a tiny ponytail, by the end of the day the ponytail itself would be gone but you liked his attempt. However that day all that hair was gone, he had cut all of it up to his eyes and had an undercut. He looked like a total frat boy, but when he smiled it was the same ole Armin. You complimented it when you noticed it but Armin didn't really react to what you said, instead he smiled and locked himself in his room for the remainder of the day. For the first three days, you noticed that Armin wouldn't look at his reflection, he'd avoid the mirror in the hallway, and when you snapped each other he sent you pictures of what he was doing instead of his smiling selfies. 

"I bought her a new camping bag, a personalized easel with her name on it, and a candle that when you burned it halfway through, would reveal a ring," he stared down for a long time, you had no idea what to say to make him feel better. You wanted to take away his hurting and bring it upon you, Armin was the kindest person you had ever met. You grabbed your plate and mug and walked around to place them in the sink beside Armin, in one motion you hugged him from the side hoping he would hug you back. Instead, you cradled him in your arms, putting you both in an awkward position. As you tried to control your laugh, Armin's eyes met yours and you both burst out laughing.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" you let go of him as he fell to the floor laughing. Tears accumulating in your eyes as you heard Armin snort every two seconds, he kept laughing from hearing himself snort and it turned into a cycle until you both laughed silently like psychopaths. "Oh god, please I adore you y/n, but you are the worst person at comforting others," Armin looked up at you, shaking his head. You noticed that his cheeks were glowing red and it seemed like he ran out of breath from all that laughing, you reached out your hand to pull him up. He grabbed it and you pulled him close into a hug, resting your head against his chest.

"You're the greatest person alive, seeing you upset makes my heart hurt. You deserve so much more than what you get Armin, this whole thing with Annie is heartbreaking. But there comes a time in life where you need to move on and focus on more important things," you squeezed him as he rested his chin on your head, he sighed as you pulled away. 

"You're right, I need to make plans tonight and just have fun without spending a minute thinking about her," he rubbed his eyes and smiled weakly at you, you ruffled his hair. 

"You have a point! OMG! Why not go to the party with Jean and me? I'll be your wingman!" you smiled ecstatically at him, he just rolled his eyes. Not the exact reaction you wanted but expected.

"I'm not ruining your date dumbass, I meant I'd go out with my friend Boris. Either way, there's too much sexual tension between you and Jean, and as much as I would love to get in the middle of that," he paused as he realized what you said, your hand flew to your mouth. "Wait that sounded wrong," you threw back your head and cackled. "Can you please go to work it's 9:23, I can't stand your face anymore," Armin pushed you off to the side as he began washing the dishes you left. 

"Well I'm off to work my lovely housewife," you grabbed your tote bag and removed your phone from the charging station, "I shall see you when I come home, this house better be spotless and I expect dinner to be at the table when I arrive," you huffed your chest up and marched around the house, Armin stared at you with dead eyes. 

"Get the hell out of here before I shove this sponge down your esophagus," you widened your eyes and made your way out the door as Armin threw water towards you, you giggled as you left the apartment. You were met with Jean's door, you sighed as you walked away.

Your mind raced with a million excuses to get out of going to the party tonight, but none of them sounded good enough. You walked down the stairs and as you stared down, your eyes were met with a figure laying on the stairs. You squinted but nothing recognizable came to sight. 

"Umm excuse me?" the stairs themselves were dark and the person's face wasn't facing towards you. They were either ignoring you fully or couldn't hear you, "Hello? Mister! Some of us have to be elsewhere!" suddenly his face met yours, you sighed in relief as you met eyes with your landlord, Levi Ackerman. He looked tired as he usually was, wearing his all-black outfit, his permanent frowned face looked up at yours. 

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?" he scoffed in your direction and began to close his eyes again facing the other direction until you knelt down and clapped loudly in his face. He slowly moved his head around and looked straight at you. "I've never committed a murder but I'm ready to ruin my reputation for you."

"Calm down, you've used that line on me quite too often Levi," you first met Levi when you first came to visit Armin to check out the apartment, he had been cleaning the lobby. You hadn't paid much attention to him because you thought he was the janitor however when you came back to leave, he cornered you and asked what was your business there. You told him you were moving into the third floor, but before he could respond you told him how amazing of a janitor you thought he was since the lobby was spotless. In hearing that, he smacked your head with his swifter and you looked at him in horror, "You brat, I'm the landlord," and that's where your beautiful one-sided friendship began. 

"I just mopped you can't go down there yet for another three minutes," he turned his focus back to the floor beside him, the front door had been calling your name, the door itself was shaded black and there weren't any windows so you couldn't see outside. Levi had once told you that windows let people see inside, when you told him that that was the whole point of them; he smacked you. He meant that he hated the people outside peeking in and observing inside so he had the windows converted into walls. 

As you sat down next to him, he looked towards you once again and frowned, "Hey, you have a new neighbor. I have yet to meet him, what a brat, can't even meet the person whose building he lives in." 

"No shit sherlock, thanks for the warning. He showed up when Armin and I came home on Monday, half-naked might I add," he smirked at this, you proceeded to roll your eyes. "You sure know how to pick them huh?" you pushed Levi's shoulder forward and he looked up at you in disgust.

"Don't ever touch me with your filthy and grubby hands ever again,” he shuddered, Levi was some sort of neat freak. He often reminded you of your mother, she too had hated when you touched or engaged with her in any way. She was never affectionate with you, growing up with your dad for the first ten years really put a stunt in your relationship with your mother. You looked at your hands after Levi spoke, all you ever wanted was to be able to hold her hand. "I didn't mean to call them filthy, just keep your hands to yourself," you looked to Levi as he spoke but he didn't look back at you, instead he stood up and walked away into the lobby. As you followed suit, you saw him walk into his office and slam the door behind him. What a charming little man, you proceeded to go outside. 

You looked up at the grey skies, you knew that there was a 50% chance of rain today but you decided there no need for a raincoat. You walked the lively streets of Chicago as you approached the parking garage that was down the street to your apartment. When you got there, you reached the floor where you had left your car last and proceeded to skip towards it. You drove a 2016 red honda civic, it was the only thing that your parents owned that you got to keep. You breathed in as you opened the car and began your day, and boy was it going to be a long one. 

* * *

You approached the same parking garage that you left from this morning and parked your car in the usual spot, today you worked the gift shop and it slowly started to get busy right when you left. You walked back to your apartment, holding your tote bag tightly as you felt a gust of wind overwhelm you. As you opened the door into the lobby, you were greeted by Levi who held a mug in front of you. 

"The cold is going to freeze the few brain cells you have left, drink this," he walked towards his office again after he handed you the mug, "Bring it back tomorrow, clean," he muttered before slamming the door. You gapped at the entire interaction, sometimes you wondered if your landlord stalked you because he constantly stood beside the door whenever you came in alone. You shrugged it off as you drank your tea, walking up the stairs.

You were met with Armin as he locked the door of your apartment door, "Oh hey y/n, I talked to Boris this morning and we're gonna go to the arcade near his work. I was about to send you a text message, but you came home earlier than I expected," Armin smiled, you could tell he was anxious, not sure why. 

"Cool, um, I guess just send me your location and update me! Be careful, I heard it was gonna rain tonight," you ruffled his hair and he sternly looked at you, he fixed his hair as he nodded, you watched as he walked down the stairs. 

You entered your apartment and set your things down, you thought of what Jean had said to you yesterday...."wear something red or pink" you barely had any red and much less pink. The one thing red from your closet was a bodysuit that you rarely wore because of how deep the v-line was, it made you uncomfortable. But... if you wore your oversized denim jacket over it perhaps it wasn't too much of a risky outfit choice. Or you could just wear your black oversized sweater and wear black jeans to piss off Jean, maybe he'd leave you here as result? 

Oddly enough, you decided to wear the red bodysuit and mom jeans paired with the oversized denim jacket and white converse. You proceeded to wear a little bit of pink eyeshadow to make your eyes pop and topped it off with some mascara, you checked yourself out in the mirror before you left. It was 4:30 and it seemed an appropriate time to make your way over to Jean's door. 

As you locked your apartment, you stared at Jeans' door. You hadn't thought much of this whole scenario when you were getting ready, but now that you were standing outside his door, you couldn't help but overthink everything. 

What was the point of this? Why did you have to swipe right on Jean? How could you get out of this situation right at this moment?

Before you could react to any of your intrusive thoughts, Jean's door swung wide opened and he stood there before you. He was wearing a skintight black turtle neck and black pants, he reeked of cologne but that wasn't want truly surprised you. What surprised you was that instead of his usual mophead hairstyle, his hair was parted in the middle and it looked neat and clean. You gulped as you immediately looked down to the wooden floor beneath your shoes, you really didn't want to blush in front of him and give him that power. 

"Not to be weird but I heard your footsteps inside and then when you didn't knock I looked out the peek hole and you were standing there like some stalker," Jean's husky voice came out, he chuckled as he spoke. You were still nervous to look up but as you did, he smiled and laughed at your reaction, "Damn, I look this good?" 

You exhaled, you gave him the power. 

"No you asshole, I'm merely embarrassed at the fact that you told me to wear red but here you stand wearing all black," you huffed as you stared right at him, you knew he was going to pull something like this. You rolled your eyes waiting for his response, instead, you stared at him as he looked you up and down shamelessly. Right. In. Front. Of. You. "Hello? My eyes are up here!" you lowered your head to meet his gaze, motioning two fingers pointing towards your eyes. 

He licked his lips and laughed, "You know, you're starting to look like your tinder profile picture," you wanted to murder him, in cold blood, right then, right there. You closed your eyes and walked down the stairs trying to control your anger by taking it out on the stairs below. You heard as Jean walked behind you, he was probably checking out your ass. When you reached the lobby, Levi sat on his couch holding a book up to his face, "Crime & Punishment". 

"Where are you off too?" he spoke as he raised an eyebrow to Jean, he put down his book and frowned, you wanted to die. Levi was always trying to set you up with his niece, but you rejected the idea, telling him you were too busy to date. As you walked with Jean, it clearly looked as if you were about to go out for a date. 

"Do you know this munchkin?" you looked back to Jean with widened eyes but before you could speak, Levi was already making his way towards Jean. "Wow, I'm so intimidated!" Jean mockingly said. 

You shook your head, famous last words.

In one swift move, Levi kicked Jean's knee inwards and Jean dramatically grabbed his knee and slouched down, "There, we're the same height now. Don't let me hear you call me a "munchkin" ever again, you hear that? You poor excuse of a lifeform," and with that Levi grabbed his book and walked back into his office. Oddly enough, you felt what Levi had done comforting however now you had to deal with Jean as he groaned in pain. 

"Why are being so dramatic? Come on," you patted Jean's back as he held onto his knee. He groaned for a whole three minutes, grasping his knee as if it were broken. You looked down at him and giggled at his face, he looked constipated and angry at the same time. For being a built man, he sure fell down quickly.

"Okay, okay, I'm fine by the way. I think I can still walk," Jean slowly got up and followed you as you walked outside. 

"Oh god, I am so happy!" you spoke in a monotone voice, "I thought I was gonna have to call an ambulance for you, looked way too painful," you mocked as you felt his eyes on you, as you looked he squinted his eyes at you.

"Was that your dad or something?"

"No. Levi is not my dad, he's the landlord, you seriously never seen him?" as you looked towards Jean, he shook his head, "Anyways, I think he's just a tense guy overall. Maybe you just gave him a bad feeling, I don't know," you definitely couldn't explain Levi's actions because you didn't understand them either. It didn't seem like such a big deal at the moment, however, how many landlords do you see kicking their tenants in the shins?

"So um, where are we off to now?" you stopped at a bench as you looked at your surroundings, despite having a jacket you felt the wind in your bones. 

"Well, we definitely cannot walk there, so the only option is to uber there," he said as he grabbed his phone out of his back pocket, you scoffed, you hated going downtown for this specific reason. The uber drivers always drove incompetently whenever you requested to go downtown, you covered Jean's phone with your hand and he frowned at you. "What are you doing rugrat?" 

"I can drive, my cars just parked a little further that way," you pointed where the parking garage was at. Thinking back at it, you remembered one of Jean's tinder pictures where he had been sitting on what looked to be his car. You shrugged it off as you looked up at Jean, he looked deep in thought. "What? You don't trust me?" you crossed your arms looking up at him.

"No, no, no, no, no! Don't get me wrong, I actually would prefer if you drove but, there's gonna be alcohol at this party and I want you to enjoy yourself." 

"Oh, don't worry about that. I am a player but drinking is not my game," you wanted to throw up the moment you said it, Jean grimaced and laughed as you spoke. Embarrassing yourself was apparently your game.

"Well, show me the way to your stead!" you then walked to the parking garage together, it was nerve-wracking knowing how sweet and caring Jean was acting. From the first time you talked over text, you assumed this guy was a major douchebag that only cared about himself. However, it was a little too early to write him off as anything. You shook it off as you entered the parking garage. 

"There's my baby," as you reached your car, you showed it off to Jean with jazz hands. He looked at the car and back at you and then back at the car and then back at you, you slowly started to feel uncomfortable.

Was he judging your car right now? 

"It's small and cute, resemblances you very well," he smirked as he walked towards the passenger door, you hated the way he naturally gave you compliments. It flustered you so much that you fumbled your keys as you walked towards the driver's seat, you clicked the open button and in you both went. As you started up the car, Jean seemed to grow anxious. His leg vibrated, shaking the entire car. As you looked back at him, you noticed that his eyes were closed shut and his jaw was clenched.

You decided to leave him alone for a moment as you warmed up the car, you knew the car was ready to be moved but you were concerned over the fact that Jean didn't seem ok. 

"So, what's the diner's name? For the directions...." you start pressing the GPS button on your car's console, Jean then stopped shaking and muttered out, "Trost Diner & Cafe."

It sounded familiar as you typed it in, as you drove, you couldn't help but notice Jean's fragile state. He had his eyes closed during the entire car ride, during every red light you tried checking up on him. He seemed fine because he wasn't shaking anymore, but he wasn't speaking or looking up. You tried to remain calm, but you longed for him to react to anything.

As you spotted the diner, you noticed it was on a busy street so you drove around to find a parking spot. You spent a few minutes until you found a decent parking garage and headed for it. As you parked, you looked back at Jean and suddenly his eyes were back open and he regained color in his face. 

"What?" Jean spoke as if nothing happened, as if he didn't just close his eyes for the entire car ride, you muttered "nothing" as you unbuckled your seat and got out of the car. 

"So give me the details, who is this man?" you met up with Jean as you exited the garage together, clicking the close button on your keys. 

"Marco, he's been my best friend since I was nine, we basically grew up together." you nodded as you stepped onto the busy sidewalk, the air felt cooler downtown since of its proximity to the lake. 

"Wow, so he owns a diner at our age?" 

"He inherited the diner at the beginning of this school year, his parents recently died in a fire," you looked up at Jean as he took a long pause, "Marco was going to Northwestern with us but he dropped out to take on managing the diner," he smiled down at the ground for a second, it was definitely different seeing this glimpse of vulnerability from him. It changed as you both pushed through downtown Chicago, you followed Jean closely as you passed the hundreds of tourists. 

"Poor baby, that sounds like a lot to handle." you hugged yourself as you thought about that heavy load, you imagined a life without Hange, it sent shivers down your spine.

"Marco is the strongest man I know, he can handle anything thrown at him," Jean sighed, you both had been walked really close to each other, so close that your hands brushed as you stopped at a crosswalk. You avoided looking at him but from your peripheral vision, you saw him look at you. 

As the light turned green to walk, you noticed that you were now walking closing in towards the diner. You had been eager to ask one specific question, "So what's the deal with their milkshakes? Are they to die for or what?" Jean looked at you with confusion, but you looked at him with more confusion. Were milkshakes not an all diner thing? 

"I've never tried them before, I usually don't eat. I mainly hang out with Marco and drink tea," he fixed his hair as he approached the mirror door of the diner, you gapped at him. How can you be out with a man who doesn't drink milkshakes, you questioned your sanity at that moment. 

As you walked in, a couple of kids ran past you, and you were taken back. The entire diner was filled with people talking loudly, Jean pointed out a tall man with brownish hair who was talking to someone. However, when the man saw Jean, he excused himself and ran towards him, embracing each other as they met. 

"Marco boy! How's the business fugly," As they pulled apart, Jean ruffled Marco's hair with his bare hands, Marco's face flushed red, as you looked closer you spotted freckles all over his face. As you intently looked at him, he became even more flushed.

"What did I say about the hair touching, I'm a professional now," Marco began fixing his hair as he looked around, that's when his eyes fixated on you again, "Um, who's this?" Marco nudged towards you, Jean smiled at you as he returned back to the conversation.

"This is my um date! Y/n meet Marco, Marco meet y/n," Marco stared at you with his mouth wide open, it seems as if he was shocked to see you or something. You felt very awkward just standing there as Marco looked at you, "Hey, stop eyeing her like that," Jean shoved Marco who then blinked a few times and chuckled. 

"So-sorry, I was surprised. Actually Jean, can we speak privately?" Jean looked back at you. 

"Yeah, of course, let me just show y/n the way downstairs," you paused, hold up what the fuck was going on here. Downstairs? Nah, you immediately thought of Sangwoo as Jean took your hand. Feeling his warmth in your head, your heart fluttered. He led you towards the bathroom hallway, stopping in front of a family-joint bathroom that looked out of service. Jean opened the door and led you inside.

"Not to be rude or anything but I don't need the bathroom and I don't think it's-" you couldn't finish your sentence because instead of a toilet and sink, you saw stairs. 

"Sorry for leaving you for the moment, there should be other "party animals" down there, just make friends," he ruffled your hair as he had once done to Marco and before you could argue, Jean left you alone with the staircase. Feeling uneasy, you began walking down the stairs. What. A. Wonderful. Idea. This was the first and last time that you would ever go on a date with a tinder boy, light illuminated at the bottom of the stairs. You could hear rap music faintly began, amplifying as you reached the bottom step. You were met with about fifteenish other people, all of them looking straight at you, you began to feel queasy. The room itself looked like an old storage unit, multiple tables and booths were surrounding an open area in the middle of the room. 

You bit your lip as you looked around the room to try to find a familiar face, but then you heard a familiar voice.

"Yo! Is that y/n?" you turned around. A boy with blonde short hair smiled at you as you turned around, he was buff in appearance and wore a red flannel shirt with what appeared as blue jeans. 

_Reiner. You immediately thought of Annie as you saw the large blonde boy._

As the stares slowly went away, you made your way towards Reiner who had been sitting in an old booth, along with a boy and a girl. As you walked closer, the boy sitting in front of Reiner looked behind at you, and you were met with someone that you thought you’d never see again. 

_Connie Springer._

You gasped softly, memories of your past came rushing back in. 

"Y/n? Y/n y/l/n, from Coolridge middle school? No way, it's been forever!" Connie jumped out of his seat and offered the seat next to his, he gave you a side hug as you sat. Both Reiner and he looked confused at each other. 

Connie had gone to your old middle school back a few years ago, Sasha and you always hung out with him during lunch and at assemblies. You remembered how close Connie and Sasha became, they were always messing around and you tried to control them to the best of your ability. Connie was forced to go to another high school that was much closer to his house so you never saw him again after promotion. Back in middle school, Connie was a lot shorter than you and he had longer hair, but as he sat beside you, everything had changed. He was probably over six feet, he had a buzzcut, and his sense of fashion definitely improved. 

"Wait how do you know her?" both Reiner and Connie said to each other, you giggled as Connie gave Reiner a disgusted look. 

"You fucking tool, I just said we went to middle school together. Are you really just brawn no brain?" Connie shook his head. Reiner looked back at you as you nodded in agreement with what Connie said. You looked towards the girl whose face was engulfed in their phone, they didn't seem to be interested in anything that was happening. They had long black hair that was pulled into two ponytails and had nice ivory skin. 

"Fuck you, Springer, I still do better in business calculus than you so suck it!" Reiner fliped Connie off, "I know y/n because we made out once at a party," Connie looked at you and smirked. Reiner and him hi-fived each other as they both shouted, "NICE!" 

"Umm, no we did not make out, it was just a double date," as you spoke, Reiner's grin fell and Connie burst out laughing. 

Reiner rolled his eyes as he spoke "whatever, yeah we just hung out, next time y/n play it off," you found it funny how Reiner desperately wanted to make Connie somewhat envious of him. 

Connie shook his head as he looked towards, "My poor Reiner, lying to me so he can look like a lady's man, poor virgin soul," it was refreshing hearing such a chaotic conversation. 

"Shut the fuck up Connie." Reiner's face turned red as he spoke, for being in a frat, Reiner definitely looked the part but oddly did not act that part.

As you began to feel a little more comfortable, you looked around at the other faces in the room. There was no one else that you knew, half of the faces didn’t even seem remotely familiar. As you shifted your face back to Connie, he spoke “So what brings you here y/n?"

Your mouth pulled apart slowly as you thought of what to say, "One of my classmates invited me to this, umm event," their faces turned confused. 

"Wait you go to Northwestern?" you nodded as he spoke, "I thought Marco dropped out?” Connie took a sip from his beer, Reiner stared back at him with an annoyed face. 

"He did dingdong." Reiner retorted.

"Well if I didn’t invite her and you didn't," Connie pointed at himself and then at Reiner, "Then who else?"

As your mouth opened, Connie shushed you, “Let me guess! Hmm, Bertholdt?” You shook your head.

“Floch?” Your head shook again.

"Porco?" The head shook again.

”Daz?” Again your head shook.

”Thomas?” Your head shook once again as Connie became more irritated. However, Reiners's face turned to yours and his eyes widened up. 

"Jean." you all spoke, Connie and Reiner both turned straight towards each other. Their expressions confused you further. 

"Jean, THE MAN, KIRSTEIN brought you to THIS party?" Connie yelled, almost knocking over the girl beside him off their chair, Reiner and him once again high-fived each other. 

You remembered the reason you stopped talking to college boys, they were so goddamn annoying over every little thing, “Yeah.... what about it?" you muttered out. 

Reiner shook his head, “Y/n, you do not understand, Jean usually leaves with a girl. He never brings one to the party." 

Huh? So what did that have to do with you? You were just a friend.

You rolled your eyes, “we’re just friends, it's really not that big of a deal,” Reiner rolled his eyes back at you and you were taken back.

”Look I lived with Jean all of freshman year, that boy does not bring girls to parties. His only purpose of going to them is to hook up, he’s always been like that,” this time Reiner took a long sip from his beer and you were yet again shocked in what you had to hear. You could care less about what Jean or who Jean does, but why did you feel so hurt? You definitely didn’t want to get romantically involved with Jean, or so you thought. 

You looked towards Connie as he looked deep in thought, you breathed out when you finally heard a noise from him, “Nah, wait, Reiner, what about Mikasa? They use to arrive at parties together all the fucking time, they were so annoying with their love and whatnot.” 

Your eyes lit up, “Mikasa? Is that Jeans’ ex?” you remembered the name from the other day when you were stalking Jeans Instagram, you figured Mikasa was her name from her username. 

"God Springer! If there’s one moment where you should just shut the fuck up, it’s now,” Reiner kicked Connie from underneath the table, which lead to Connie's loud yelp, others began to notice the commotion. However, one particular person was now staring at you intently.

"So you came with Jean?” The girl who had been ignoring the conversation the entire time looked up at you now, her grey eyes peered into your soul. 

You muttered a “yes," Connie put his hands into his face. 

”When did you meet?” You could feel the tension in the room, Reiner avoided any sort of eye contact with you. Connie beside you was now on the floor rubbing his ankle.   
  
“Like Tuesday morning, he approached me after one of our classes,” you lied straight through your teeth, it was much easier to lie than to say tinder. 

"Wait he bagged you in like three days?" you heard Connie erupt from the floor, “MY MAN!" the girl looked irritated at Connie. 

"No, no, no! No bagging, I have not been bagged." you threw a glare at Connie as he returned to his seat. 

“Well, hopefully, he doesn’t mess you up too,” the girl then stood up and walked towards another table near the staircase, your eyes followed as she began to converse with other people.

”That’s Mina, umm she slept with Jean about three months, and well she got a little attached so don’t mind her. Just has a stick up her ass,” Reiner too was looking at her but after he finished talking, he looked back at you and smiled.

”So Jean sleeps around?” You sounded hurt but it wasn’t your intention to sound like it.

”Hey! Do not slut-shame my man, he’s lonely-“ Connie spoke but as you look at him, he paused, “So you guys haven’t slept with each other? Really?”

”Listen, once again. Jean and I are nothing, totally just classmates. I only asked because I barely met him a couple of days ago and you know just wanted to see what type of person he was.” you fiddled your fingers as you looked down, your expectations of Jean were definitely what you thought. Sadly. 

“Well, if you really just wanna be friends with him,” Reiner began, “Jean's one of the best, he tells shit as it is and never breaks a promise. So you better cherish him.” Connie nodded in agreement. Silence overcame the table, however, being the person you were. You desired the topic of Mikasa to come back into play.

"Wait guys go back, who's Mikasa?" You looked up at Reiner, hoping for a legitimate answer. 

Connie breathed in and began, "Well, it all started- OW! Why would you do that again?" Reiner once again had kicked Connie, he made a face at him. 

"It's not your story to tell Conehead, either way, the only reason you know is because of that one time Jean got drunk off his ass and he spilled his entire life story. Sorry y/n, you’re not getting a story from either of us,” Reiner proceeded to pretend to zip up his mouth and Connie's followed suit, you rolled your eyes at the pair of them. 

"So no one is gonna confess?" You made puppy dog eyes at them, but they just glared at you to your surprise. 

"Nope," Connie said popping the p, they both looked away from you. 

Well if they weren't going to help you with anything, there was no use in staying there. 

"Fine, I'm bored. I need a milkshake." you got up as Connie's face looked at you, you pushed in your chair and started towards the stairs when you heard the door open. You looked up and to your surprise, you were met with a familiar set of eyes.

_I guess today was just filled with surprises._

Who'd ever think you'd see your beautiful barista crush, who you recently broke down in front of, would be at this party? Not you.

Eren paused as he came down the stairs, he turned his head in confusion as he recognized you. He had on a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, not party attire in your opinion. You looked down at the floor as you walked down to let him pass, looking up when you reached the floor level. 

"Well, this is a surprise," he scratched his head as he stepped down from the last step, his eyes glimmered. As you stood a few inches away, you had noticed how soft his skin looked. He smelled heavenly, like vanilla cupcakes, judging by that you assumed he came straight from work. 

"I could say the same," you nervously laughed, you could feel eyes on you as you stood there talking with Eren.

"Well, you look like you needed to go up, so I'll catch up with you later," Eren started walking towards the group of people that included Mina, they stared at you as he joined them. You felt your cheeks turn red, this was definitely not what you were expecting at all. You began walking up the stairs, your head was spinning around over the fact that Jean had been friends with all these people, and somehow everything just connected with you. 

As you reached the door, you turned the knob and you were back upstairs. You lead yourself back to the diner and found yourself surrounded by many families eating, you looked around as you spotted Jean sitting at a table and Marco standing beside him. You made your way to them and as you approached them, Jean's face turned to yours and he smiled, "Wow, you can't spend ten minutes without me?" he smirked as you sat in front of him, Marco just stared at you as you sat. 

"No, I was craving a milkshake so here I am," you turned your focus to the menu that sat on the edge of the table, you looked at the front "Trost Diner & Cafe, Home of the Trost Waffles". 

"Well unless you want two, I wouldn't order," Marco's soft voice came out, your eyes went back and forth as you stared at both of them. 

Jean pulled out his phone and looked down at it, "Yeah, don't bother. I already ordered you an Oreo milkshake, I was gonna bring it to you when it came." it seemed as if he were avoiding your gaze. 

"Oh thank you," you stared back down to your hands, you could feel the awkward silence creep in as Jean focused on his phone. After a few seconds, you noticed Marco left. Looking up, Jean was still on his phone, clearly avoiding you. You kept staring at him, what Reiner and Connie told you kept seeping into your mind. "He only goes to parties to hook up with people," "What about Mikasa? They were constantly with each other." You doubted you would ever hang out with Jean ever again after today but why were you so invested in his life? Why did you feel a little envious of Mikasa? 

"So make any friends?" Jean lifted his head and his amber eyes met with yours; you melted. His eyes were clear in color, making you feel warm inside. 

"Umm actually I knew a few people down there so I naturally hung out with them for the short amount of time I was there," he seemed impressed, he took a sip from his water, "I also met Mina," Jean spit out the water as you spoke. He began to violently cough and you got up from the table and started slapping his back, as he stabilized his breathing; he held up a hand for you to stop. 

Seeing him breathe again, you sat back down. You stared with wide eyes at the entire reaction, fiddling your fingers back and forth on the table. 

"Whatever she said about me was a lie, do not believe anything she says," his voice was breathy, "Why did she come up to you in the first place?"

"Well, I was talking to Reiner and Connie, and well she was just there," thinking back to it, you wondered why she sat next to them without uttering a word, "Connie asked me who I came with, and well I just told them you were my classmate and that you invited me. I guess when she heard me say your name, she began asking me questions," you paused as you looked into his eyes. "After she left, Reiner told me you guys had slept together."

You pulled your hair behind your ear, you gave Jean a small smile as he bit his lips and chuckled. "I am so sorry that happened, she's been kinda obsessed with the idea of us going out so that doesn't surprise me," as he spoke, the silence once again filled the room. 

You tried to not let it bother you, but you couldn't escape the fact that Jean was alright with you knowing that he had slept with Mina, why did it bother you so much? You definitely didn't feel anything towards Jean, judging by the fact that you just met a few days ago, so why did you feel resentment towards her? 

That's when Marco brought you your milkshake and your face lit up as he handed it to you, "Hey, is there any way you both could head back downstairs? This last hour of business is usually pretty crazy, I'll come to get everyone as soon as things clear up here," Marco smiled, looking at Jean, Jean nodded. You grabbed your milkshake and made way for the bathroom hallway once again, you let Jean lead the way down. 

As you arrived, you heard voices. 

"JEAN KIRSTEIN!" 

"AYO WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?"

"WHOS THAT GIRL WITH HIM?" 

"THAT'S THE GIRL WHO CAME IN EARLIER!" 

You could feel faces turn towards you as you walked beside Jean, you shifted your body towards Reiner and Connie who had been slow clapping, you shot them a glare. You crossed your left arm and held your right arm that was holding your milkshake cup, clearly Jean was popular with everyone. 

"Okay, guys! Listen up," Jean voice woke everyone up, "So, Marco said he's closing up shop in an hour so we have to be busy until then! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to spend that time?" You looked around as you heard murmurs. That's when from the corner of your eye, you saw a hand rise. It was Connie.

"You dipshit, just say it out loud don't raise your hand," Reiner slapped Connie's hand. 

"Sheesh, okay! I propose we play truth or dare, with a twist!" Connie had a big grin on his face, stretching his arms to cover the fact that he was rubbing his head. 

"What's the twist?" you spoke and everyone's eyes flew back to you but you were focused on Connie.

"We pair up! If your partner refuses to answer the question or do the dare then you have to take two shots of vodka," he smirked as he pulled a bottle from underneath the table. You made a face, Connie looked impressed with himself but you weren't having it. You had already told Jean you didn't want to drink, but as you were about to refute the game, the twenty people in the room jeered and agreed including Jean. 

Naturally, everyone began to pair up, as everyone gravitated towards the person they wanted to pair up with. You held your milkshake close to you as you saw Mina walk towards Jean, your throat tightened at the idea of Mina and Jean sitting close to each other playing the game while you ended up with no partner.

"Hey Jean, what do you say we partner up?" Mina avoided your stare as she looked up at Jean, she pouted and grabbed her ponytails in a "girlish" way. Classic move. Well-played Mina. You hated hating on other women, so as you saw her stand a few feet away, you tried to compose yourself. 

"I actually already have a partner Mina, this is y/n. But you already knew that, huh?" Jean wrapped his arm around your shoulders and gripped you tightly by him. Mina's grin dropped as you stared at her apologetically, you didn't like to cause problems. She scoffed and walked away, you were still in Jean's grip as both Connie and Reiner came up to you. 

"You're such a cockblock, Connie, go find other friends," Reiner had been complaining as he came up to talk to you and Jean, you were entranced by Jean's cologne. It wasn't the same one you had smelled previously, this one had a more cool ocean breeze scent. It felt natural standing there so close to Jean, your proximity to each other did not startle you at all. 

"Blame that on Jean," Connie looked towards you both in disgust, "not all of us can have smoking hot classmates, but now that I see you both so close. Are you sure you're just classmates?" he smirked as he spoke, however, Jean rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on you. 

"Connie, leave the tears and envy for the pillowcase," Jean said as he completely avoided the question that Connie asked, he then pulled apart from you and shouted at everyone again, "Okay! Now that we have partners let's get into a circle and sit on the floor, Connie you're up first." Everyone was like ants in an ant-farm as we settled around in a circle in the middle of the room, you sat between Reiner and Jean. 

The partners were: Jean & Y/N, Reiner & Connie, Mina & Eren, Floch & Daz, Hanna & Porco, Gordon & Sandara, Tom & Ruth, Thomas & Franz, Hitch & Marlo, Thomas & Miles, and lastly Berthholdt & Pieck. 

As you began playing, all the questions or dares were simple. You answered basic questions since no one knew much about you: where you were from, what was your major, who your celebrity crush was, etc, eventually you did one dare where you had to slap Connie straight across the face as hard as you could. Jean took it upon himself to drink for you and you did not reject the offer. Connie was relieved, to say the least. The majority of dares that Jean took were other people tweeting from his Twitter account or forcing him to tell very embarrassing drunk stories that you enjoyed listening to. Everyone had at least taken two shots, well except for you, your eyes occasionally looked back to the bottle of vodka. Your mind raced back to the last time you drank, it was with Sasha. 

A boy with auburn birdnest hair interrupted your thoughts as Jean finished telling one of his stories, "Come on Jean! Stop taking all your questions and let poor y/n drink!" he had a very nasal voice, it made you cringe. You frowned at him as he spoke, the boy who sat next to him was laughing, hard. As if it were the funniest thing he had ever heard, he looked like he smelled like hot dog water.

"Why don't you mind your own goddamn business Floch," Jean retorted as he rolled his eyes, shifting his body towards you. He went on with the game, giving a dare to the next person. Your eyes set on him as he watched the next person take his dare, you stared contently at his face. His nose was slender but long as it rested on his face, his cheekbones high and natural. You felt so envious of how symmetrical his face appeared with the middle part, as you continued to stare you noticed his cheeks grow a little red. "Look you can stare at me all you want later, but if you keep looking at me like that I'm gonna have to kiss you," your head flung to face Connie, who looked severely confused as you turned as red as a tomato. The simple act of saying he was going to kiss you made your heart pound louder than ever, you could hear him chuckle in the back of your head. At that moment you could've probably died, it was weird getting that mushy feeling in your stomach again. As you panicked, it was your turn again. You picked truth and funny enough someone asked you when your first kiss was and who was it with. You answered with no hesitation, they were going way too easy on you. As you finished telling your story, it was Jean's turn. 

You looked down as he spoke, "Alright guys, truth! Make it a good one," he shifted his body away from you and cracked his knuckles. 

"What happened with Mikasa?" your breath hitched as you stared up at Floch who had asked the question, you looked towards Reiner and he shook his head. You then turned your head to look at Jean but he wasn't looking at anyone, just the floor. "Come on Jean, don't make the girl drink! Tell us why we haven't seen Mikasa in over a year! If I recall, the last time she was here, she said she was head-over-heels in love with you. So what happened?" You balled your hands into fists as Floch taunted Jean, you glared at him as he laughed with the boy, beside him. At that moment, you wanted nothing more than to punch Floch right in his huge nose. You had been dying to know anything about Mikasa, but Jean clearly looked uncomfortable with the question. 

"Don't be an asshole Floch, just ask another question." Connie groaned. 

"Actually I'm curious about this one, wouldn't be a total loss if he simply told us," you exhaled as you heard that mousy voice again, Mina was looking towards you. 

You really did not want to drink but you knew what you had to do, "Connie, pass me the bottle please," you tapped Connie on the shoulder, he looked at you surprised but then stood up and grabbed the bottle of vodka and a shot glass from the table. As he handed it to you, you placed the shot glass down and uncorked the bottle. As you were about to start pouring, you felt Jean's hand on top of yours.

"No, don't," his eyes were sternly looking at you, "if you do not want to drink, you do not have to." as you were about to reply, you were interrupted.

"No she does, because you didn't spill the beans!" Floch sneered.

"Look, I'm okay with it! It's just two shots, not that big of a deal," you poured the first shot and downed it quickly, it burned as it touched your throat, you poured the second and downed it as well. You inhaled and exhaled as you finished, Connie slapped you on the back screaming, "Atta champ!". As you looked around the room, your eyes met Eren's who hadn't spoken much since the game started. He wasn't necessarily looking at you though, his eyes focused on Jean. You looked towards Jean as he gave the same stare back at Eren. It wasn't necessarily a friendly stare-down, you felt chills as you watched them. 

That's when you heard steps come down the stairs, that's when out appeared Marco with a heaven-like smile, "Okay guys! Let's get this party started," as everyone began to get up to leave, Marco stepped down to the level and let everyone walk up. However, when you got up along with Connie and Reiner, Jean and Eren had not budged from their seat or their stare-down.

You turned your body and crouched down to where Jean sat, "Is everything okay?" you tapped Jean's shoulder, suddenly he looked back at you and smiled. 

"Yeah, let's go up," Jean then stood up and grabbed you by the waist as you both walked towards the stairs, your breath hitched as you felt his touch on you. You looked back at Eren who was now talking to Marco, they looked deep in conversation. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also sorry this left off on a weird note, I just wanted to finish and release a chapter for the week


	4. voodoo doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, lol just a quick reminder that this has mature language!! I'm trying not to make any chapters like filler type but whatever we'll see how this goes. this chapter goes out to voodoo doll by 5sos, yes in this house we listen to old 5 seconds of summer songs to feel something again.

From: Futon Master :]

hey, sor/ry didn't se nd your my addy lolz boris invited armin back to home and now drinkignrj!

You smiled as you look down at your phone, it looked as if Armin wasn't going to make it home tonight. You wanted to be angry at him for not texting you before since it was already 7 pm and you hadn't heard from him since you last saw him at 3, but at the same time; you hadn't thought of Armin until after you received his text. It wasn't like you to completely forget Armin, at most parties that you didn't go with him; you'd end up texting him the entire time. 

To: Futon Master :]

have fun and stay safe ugly <3

After typing that you attached your location, staring at it as the red dot gleamed. Marco's diner had been conveniently near many touristic places on the map, no wonder it was full when you got there.

After heading back upstairs with the entire party, you found yourself stuffed in a booth next to Jean while Connie, Reiner, and Marco sat across from you. The booths themselves were quaint but loud in color, the whole diner illuminated with a neon color scheme, it vaguely reminded you of a diner you'd see in downtown Disney. As you scrolled through Instagram, the rest of your table talked about sports and you clearly did not care enough to follow the conversation along.

You realized you had a few new followers, as you clicked you saw that both Connie and Reiner began following you, you were shocked but not surprised that they found you. You smirked at your phone as you remembered they were sitting right in front of you, pressing on Reiner's page you were met with many familiar faces. You clicked on a specific group photo, you skimmed everyone's faces and your eyes stopped on one particular person, _Eren._ Suddenly you remembered that Eren had stayed back talking with Marco, Jean grabbed you to go upstairs with the rest of the party so you had no time to ask he was alright. Eren seemed pissed off about something as you looked back at them. You were hoping to talk to him when he came back upstairs, but when you saw Marco and no one else with him; you assumed Eren left the party early.

_Bummer._

You wanted to learn more Eren and potentially become friends, after all, you did tell him things that you hadn't even told Armin. You dozed off as you thought back to the day you sat down at Anita's (the coffee shop near your home) crying while he rushed to make you tea to calm your nerves. Your heart beat erratically as you thought of his long brown hair, his perfectly shaven face, his prominent cheekbones, his-

"Y/n? Hello?" your thoughts were interrupted by Marco who was waving his hand in front of your face.

"Oh my fucking god, she fucking dead," Reiner erupted out of laughter as Connie spoke, you stared widely at Marco with a vacant face, clearly you weren't paying attention to the conversation. They all stared at you. 

"I'm sorry, what?" you muttered out as you turned to face Jean, he was smiling whilst shaking his head.

"I asked you if you liked the milkshake," you stared at Marco in confusion, milkshake? 

That's when you realized you had left the milkshake down in the basement. You had placed it on the table after Jean said to go sit on the floor for truth or dare, you felt like crying. 

"No!" you placed your face into your hands, how could you have left the beautiful oreo milkshake down there without even tasting it first? By the time you get it now, it would be flavored milk. 

"Damn, why are you so honest though?" you looked up at Reiner as you realized what you said, you looked back at Marco in horror, he no longer was smiling. 

"NO! No sorry, I actually forgot about it and I didn't even get to taste it! We went downstairs and then we started playing that game and ahh! I'm sorry Marco, I've disrespected your food," your heart broke as you saw Marco's smile turn upside down, you felt Jean's stare as you tried explaining. "Here let me at least pay for it, I feel horrible." your hands flew to the pocket where you had your small wallet, you placed a five-dollar bill on the table and slid it over towards Marco.

"Don't even worry about y/n," Marco's face changed completely, his eye smile was so tender you felt your heart explode, "Next time, I'll just have to be there when you take the first sip," he got up from his seat, "I'll go fetch us some drinks, what do you all want?" Jean advertently slid the five-dollar bill back to you, you grimly took it back. 

"I'll take a beer-" Jean began but Connie interrupted, "Make that three beers Marco!" Marco nodded as he turned his stare towards me. 

"Umm, could I just get some mineral water?" Marco tilted his head and walked behind the bar in the middle of the diner, you watched as multiple people began to talk to him. 

"You look like a light-weight." you lowered your eyes as you met Connie who was staring straight at you, nodding. Reiner and Jean stifled their laughter, your mouth opened slightly as you looked at Connie confused. 

Getting your thoughts straight, you scoffed, "Trust me, I would downing shots right now by the millisecond but Jeanie over here asked me to not drink. I'm kinda the DD tonight," without thinking you grabbed Jean's face with your hand, still looking at Connie and Reiner. When you went back to look at Jean, you noticed your hand was still there and you pulled back feeling embarrassed. Perhaps the two shots of vodka were kicking in because you definitely wouldn't have done that sober. 

"DD?" you looked over to Reiner who had confusion written all over his face, Connie's hand flew to his forehead making a loud thwack. You giggled at the sight of Reiner who still looked confused. 

"Designated driver," you heard Jean mumble from under his breath, his cheeks were glowing red as he avoided your eyes. Ah, it felt good giving Jeanie a taste of his own medicine, you just needed a push. And by push: alcohol. "I'm gonna go help Marco, excuse me," Jean then stood up and raced across the diner, meeting up with Marco. 

As you giggled, your eyes were directed back to Reiner whose eyes were staring intently at you, "Didn't you just down two shots of vodka? You sure you can drive tonight?" 

You were speechless for a moment, the question had caught you off guard, obviously, you knew you had just taken two shots but the worry in Reiner's eyes made you doubt yourself. You were more than capable of driving, you felt fine..... but you also weren't feeling 100%. 

"Uh, yes. But I'm not going to drink anymore, completely done," Reiner's brooding eyes didn't leave yours, "Reiner, don't worry! It'll be a few hours away until I drive, I'll defiently be better by then. Trust me, I'm not the type to get drunk off of two shots," you scoffed as you looked down at your lap. 

The awkward silence began again, you looked up towards Reiner who hadn't lifted his gaze from you. You looked to Connie as you felt your cheeks continue to grow red, "Don't worry Reiner, we'll make y/n walk on a straight line before they leave!" Connie grinned and slapped Reiner on the back, you sighed as Connie had completely shifted the mood to upbeat again. 

"Changing the subject....." Connie's eyes diverted towards yours, you nodded upwards to let him know your attention was on him, "Y/n, what are you doing to my boy Jean?" Reiner snickered. 

_What were you doing to him? What did that mean?_

"I beg your pardon?" you shrunk into your seat as Connie slyly smiled at you. 

"Please, don't tell me you casually touch people's faces as if it's no big deal! 'We're just classmates'," Connie mocked you as he dramatically threw big quotation marks, you thought back to his middle school self and wondered if he was always this dramatic. 

"Actually, yeah. I touch my friends' faces all the time, it's like affection but not in a weird way," you often squished Armin's cheeks whenever you wanted to embarrass him or when you felt like it, it didn't mean anything as far as you knew. Although you _did_ just meet Jean and you barely started getting comfortable with Armin after living with him for 5 months. 

"Then why was he so embarrassed? He literally blushed like a total idiot and left before we could tease him about it," Connie elbowed Reiner in the gut and Reiner nodded, "you have him totally whipped even though you've been 'classmates' for a total of three days," Reiner motioned a whip as Connie finished his sentence. 

You glared at them, "anyone would've been embarrassed by that, it doesn't mean he likes me or I like him. And stop with the whole 'classmates' thing, I think we can move on to the term friends," Neither Connie nor Reiner looked convinced at all. 

"Wanna squish my cheeks?" Reiner bit his lip as he made puppy dog eyes at you, you began to laugh as you looked at him, his whole demeanor had changed. He went from a big scary bulldog to a cuddly teddy bear in a matter of 2 minutes. _What a softie._

"Stop, stop it right now," you turned to see Connie glaring at Reiner with deceit in his eyes. As they began to bicker, you stared at Connie.

Connie had grown up since middle school, to say he matured was an overstatement but he looked older. He had nice facial features that even you were envious of.

You thought of Sasha as Connie laughed, she would've enjoyed listening to Connie make a fool of himself when y'all had played truth or dare. 

_Sasha_.

You couldn't help but wonder what she was doing tonight. Although it had only been a few days since the last time you spoke, it felt like millions. 

"So, y/n," Reiner's eyelashes fluttered towards you, "Be honest with me, did you really not taste the milkshake? Or was it really that bad?" Reiner's voice interrupted your thoughts, you looked back as both of them stared at you. 

"No, I seriously didn't try it!" they both looked at you in denial, you really weren't winning tonight, "Look I'm serious about milkshakes, I wouldn't just leave it without tasting it."

"Really? Because I do not remember you setting it down anywhere, maybe you threw it in the trash right away?" Connie smirked as you rolled your eyes, it was clear you weren't convincing either of them. 

"Fine. I'll go grab it from downstairs and show you how full it is!" you slid out from the booth and walked off to the bathroom hallway. They giggled as you left.

_Tsk.... boys._

You had been considering going downstairs to throw the milkshake away so it was the perfect opportunity to grab it. As you walked you noticed a picture on the wall beside the hallway, a young boy with what you assumed were his parents. You smiled as you remembered the conversation before with Jean about Marco's parents. It must be rough losing your parents. 

You proceeded to open the door of the fake joint bathroom and as you stared down, you noticed that the light was still on downstairs.

_That's weird.....why would Marco leave the light on if no one was down there?_

As you stepped carefully down the stairs, you heard a muffled noise. You froze as you tried to make sense of what was being said but the person seemed to be talking too low. As you reached downstairs you looked around to locate the source of the voice, however, your eyes met another pair of eyes. 

_Eren._

He was laying down on a couch in the far right corner, his phone in front of him, tilting his head as you stood there in silence. 

"Hey," was all you could manage. 

"You're full of surprises, you know that?" Eren patted on the couch, inviting you to sit next to him. You obediently walked over as he shifted his body so you could sit on the couch, you sat at the edge so you could face him. "So funny seeing you here," you stared at the stairs you had come from, your thoughts raced. You knew you had to tell him about the whole story. 

"God, I feel so fake," you exhaled, "Just a few nights ago, I was crying buckets at your cafe over a girl and now you see me here-" 

"With Jean." he interrupted you, his voice sounded stern. You looked back at Eren who had shifted his body to completely face towards you, his arms were crossed. 

"Yeah, look that day you comforted me back at the coffee shop," his eyes frightened you as they stared intently, "That same day, I met Jean. Well, not really- okay look. Don't judge me but I had previously met Jean on tinder," Eren's expression didn't change. "And apparently I promised him a date, and I didn't even recognize him. He came up to me after class and invited me to this party and before I could answer-"

"He left, classic Jean Kirstein. Leaving a girl before she can reject him," he laughed as he leaned his head back to look up at the ceiling, you turned your head down to look at your shoes.

"Anyways, I thought I could bail on him, but then I found out that he lives in the same apartment complex as me. So I really had no other excuse but to come out and be his date tonight. It's been a weird week." 

"I'm sorry, you didn't have to explain yourself. I just- Jean and I aren't necessarily the best of friends, so when I saw you come back down with him." he opened his mouth again but nothing came out. "Just be careful, I guess," he chuckled, he patted your back. 

"Trust me, it's just one date. No marriage, no commitment, nothing," you leaned back to support yourself on the couch, it felt weird talking to Eren about all this. You found it odd how you confided in him so easily, maybe it was the fact that you had observed him for a long time before this. 

"So how have you been? Ya know with the whole friend to friends with benefits thing."

It took you a while to answer back, you didn't even know how you felt, "Umm I'm dealing with it you know? The day after she kinda blocked me on everything. So I kinda just had to be ok with it," you sighed, even though every night you returned to what had happened with Sasha; saying it out loud made you queasy.

"Hmm," you looked over at Eren and frowned at him, hmm? What the hell did that mean? "Just give them space. You obviously need it."

_Space?_ Back in high school, Sasha and you were never the types of friends to fight. You had multiple little arguments, but they always seemed to resolve themselves in a matter of an hour or so. 

_"Space"_ if space meant blocking you, then Sasha was giving you plenty of space. 

"Maybe," you replied, you both sat in silence for a while. 

You felt it in your heart that if you had just gone to Sasha's room to clear everything up that night, maybe everything would've been back to normal. Or maybe it wouldn't.

You looked towards Eren, who had reverted back to being on his phone. You wanted to change the conversation's topic and you wanted to change now.

You remembered how many burning questions you had for him when you first saw him walk down the stairs, like what's his affiliation was with Marco or Jean or Connie or Reiner. 

"So do you go to Northwestern?" you clenched your teeth, "how do you know Jean?" Eren then looked up at you. He smiled as he patted his phone next to him on the couch. 

"I use to go to Northwestern," he licked his lips as he proceeded, "I've been friends with Marco and Jean since elementary school, we were all on the same traveling hockey team for a long time." you smiled. Hockey? They all did not seem like they'd play hockey. "Once we got to high school though, none of us made the hockey team. Jean and Marco both went on to play baseball, saying it was "the next best thing", I decided that I wanted a break from anything sports-related so I took on skateboarding." 

You pictured both Eren and Jean in high school, they were probably still extremely good-looking and popular.....While you had braces and acne up until Junior year, you probably would've avoided them entirely if you had gone to the same school. 

"We maintained our friendship, of course, Marco and Jean got closer as time went on. I became friends with Reiner through skateboarding, he may seem like a total douche but he is a killer skater," winking as he spoke, you were taken back. _"_ Marco, Jean, and I had vowed when we were younger to apply to Northwestern, I even convinced Reiner to apply."

"We all got accepted and we started college together and I roomed with Connie which is how we met. For a while everything was perfect, my grades, my family, my friends, but that's when-" you turned your head back to Eren as he stopped talking, he no longer stared at you. His smile turned into a frown, he balled his hands into fists as he looked down at the ground. 

"When Jean," he put his head into his hands, "Jean started-" Eren's voice cracked as he spoke, he sighed. 

"Jean started?" you grabbed your neck as you watched Eren, he whipped his head around a few moments later, he softly smiled. 

"Did I say, Jean? I meant I just started going down a dark path. Eventually, I lost my scholarship because of my grades. So yeah....." he gave you a wide smile, sending a shiver down your spine. "Wow, did not mean to make that a huge sob story." you nodded as you slowly started to digest everything Eren had said. His entire mood changed so quickly you barely had any room to react. 

_Jean started?_ If you had known that this entire night was going to be like reading a Charles Dickens book, then you would've much-preferred hearing Hange go on about their theories on how the brain continues to function even after death. 

"So umm where are you guys from?" you asked in a soft voice, you were scared about how to proceed. 

"Shiganshina! It's a quaint town in the outskirts of Chicago, I was supposed to move back there this year but Floch owns a penthouse nearby so I stayed with him," Eren wasn't looking at you so you made a face when he said, Floch. 

_Floch? Really, why would he want to live with a total douche bag?_

"Oh, he seems umm-" Eren interrupted you with a chuckle, "Floch is a pervert and a colossal jerk, however, the penthouse is huge so I often don't have to interact with him since he goes to school and my work schedule is all over the place," you sighed in relief as he spoke, "I think we should probably rejoin the party, what do you say?" you nodded as Eren stood up and made way to the stairs. 

As you followed Eren back up the stairs, you thought back to why you even came down here in the first place. You paused going up the second step and looked around the room, hoping to get a clue. 

_Milkshake._

You ran back down the two steps you had already climbed and secured the runny milkshake, Eren funnily looked at you as you rushed back behind him. You showed him the milkshake container and he just chuckled. Following Eren, the wood beneath you groaned and creaked, and as Eren reached for the basement doorknob; it pried itself open. You peered over Eren as you were met with Jean's somber eyes looking straight at you. 

"You're blocking the path, move Kirstein," Eren looked up at Jean slightly, you hadn't noticed before but both boys were abnormally huge, not only in muscles but in tallness. Your eyes fell to the ground, _ugh_ _testosterone._

"Yeager, care to explain why you were downstairs with my date for a whole 7 minutes?" _oh god,_ hearing Jean made your eyes perk up towards him, he was frowning as he stared down at Eren, his eyes vivid with color. 

"If she's your date, then why was she down there with me?" Eren retorted, Jean, pulled closer to Eren and grabbed his shirt. "Calm down pretty boy, you don't own y/n." you don't know how you knew but you were 100% positive Eren was smirking. 

You were severely annoyed by both boys, it made no sense to you why Jean was so mad over the fact that you and Eren were downstairs. You weren't dating and if you were doing something you'd hope it last longer than 7 minutes. As you peered over again, you saw Marco enter the hallway, you could hear his dismay as he sighed. 

"Guys, please don't start," Marco whined as he brought his hands to his hair, pulling it back. 

"I'm sorry Marco, but someone has to teach Eren that it isn't polite to touch other people's belongings," Jean gritted his teeth, growling as he spoke. As attractive as Jean was looking right now, you were not going to be fought over as if you were an object. You harshly pushed Eren aside and stomped on Jean's foot, they both let out a yelp.

"You dumbasses. First, of all Jean: I went downstairs to go grab my melted milkshake," you motioned to the container in your hand, "Eren was there, and we just talked. Second, I am not "yours" and definitely not your "belonging", I rather spend a night sleeping on a wet floor with just socks on than to stand here listening to your little bitch fight. Now will you both excuse me, I want to go get a drink of water," they both stared at you as they grunted in pain, once you made your point, you walked past Marco who looked fairly taken back. You met with a large group of people who had been hiding behind the wall once you left the hallway, assuming they just heard that entire exchange you scoffed. As they saw you, the majority acted as if they weren't listening and walked back to whatever they had been doing before. Well everyone except Connie and Reiner, who both wore a large grin on their faces. 

"Stick it to the man y/n! Look at you stomping on Yeager and Kirstein's ego!" Connie grabbed your shoulders and pushed you back and forth, Reiner gave you a thumbs up as you looked at him. 

You pushed Connie's arms off and weakly smiled, "Are they always like that?" 

"Honestly, they don't have the best history," Reiner started, he grimaced his face as he spoke, "they're always fighting over every little thing, they can never have a decent conversation." 

_That was something you could've guessed by now. Eren wasn't kidding when he said they weren't the best of friends._

You remembered the reason you went down to the basement as you looked down your hands, you shoved the milkshake in front of both Connie and Reiner's array of vision, "Look at that, it's literally water yeah?" you smiled devilishly. 

"Wow, you showed us!" Connie put up his arms as you shoved him, you all proceeded to walk towards the empty booth. You finally threw away the milkshake as all three of you sat and began to talk about school, chugging the mineral water that Marco promised you when you sat down. Jean, Marco, and Eren hadn't made an appearance since you left them in the bathroom hallway. 

* * *

About an hour or two passed, Jean still hadn't come back and it was already ten-thirty. Connie reassured you that Jean, Marco, and Eren were just having "bro" time but you didn't care what they were doing, you felt fatigued and the thought of leaving passed your mind multiples times. 

As you began to think of ways to ditch Jean, a girl with short chestnut brown hair and almond-shaped eyes planted herself right next to you in the booth that you shared with Connie and Reiner. Her eyes looked directly at you, she softly smiled as you waved hello to her. You had noticed her while you played truth & dare downstairs, she was definitely the daring type of person since the majority of her turns she had chosen dare. Her partner Marlo had constantly been given hard truths and dares so, Hitch had taken a few shots. 

"Hitch!" your eyes flew to Reiner's now flushed face, "You look stunning tonight," your eyes returned to Hitch who seemed to have been ignoring Reiner because her eyes had stayed focused on you. 

"My name is Hitch Dreyse," her voice was sweet and catty, her eyes melted into yours, "You caught my eye downstairs and of course I had to come over and introduce myself!" 

"Well it's nice to meet you as well," your voice dragged, her button nose made you envious, "I'm y/n y/l/n!" 

"Actually, I have to be honest," she sunk in her cheeks, "I came over to recruit you to our next paintball match, we only ever have so many girls come to participate," she motioned to Connie and Reiner and as you looked at them you began to giggle. Both boys had been entranced by Hitch's beauty and were staring at her with googly eyes. 

When you met up with Hitch's eyes again they pleaded, "When is it?" her eyes sparkled as you spoke. 

"It's this Monday! I know you may have class but all of us usually ditch since paintball is more fun!" she squealed, you hadn't thought much about paintballing even since your dad stopped taking you. When you lived in Arizona, you became proficient at it since that's all your dad liked to do on early Saturday mornings. However, when your dad and mom remarried, they were often busy on the weekends and Hange would take you out for study dates instead. 

"Who's going?" your voice creaked out. You didn't have any classes Monday, but you were still unsure. 

"Hmm, Connie, Reiner, Marco, and- god why are there so many men," you snickered as she began to think, "I think Historia bailed," Your eyes lit up as she said Historia, could it be the one from your English class? "Ymir and me, btw she's a beast," YMIR? You had only known of one Ymir and she was the weed-addicted neighbor, "Porco, Pieck, and Bertie, umm oh yeah! Your man, Jean!" As you were about to interject Hitch, Jean walked up to your table followed by Marco and Eren who both looked annoyed. 

"What about her mans Jean?" Jean smirked as he looked towards you, you were relieved to see him finally show up. However, you still were off-put by the conversation he had with Eren in front of you. He acted possessive for no reason and you did not want to deal with that. 

Hitch rolled her eyes, "I'm inviting your new friend to our paintball game on Monday, did I need your manly approval before asking her Jean?" she pouted as she mockingly changed her voice. 

"No, go right ahead! I was gonna do that either way," Jean winked towards you, you imagined yourself stomping on his foot again. _God did that feel good to do._

Hitch looked towards you as she waited for your response. While the offer seemed fun, you did not want to get roped into another "date" with Jean. It was already too much having all of his friends know about you. 

"Well, I don't know," you heard Connie "boo" loudly, you hadn't even rejected the offer and you were getting shut down. You looked up at Jean who now looked dejected. 

"Come on y/n! We're at an odd number, please!" Hitch grabbed you by the shoulder, she certainly got comfortable having only known you for an hour or so.

You thought of Armin and how he once begged you to go paintballing, but you shot down the idea after showing him the pains of getting hit by a paintball gun. However, if you got Armin to come, then maybe you wouldn't be trapped alone with Jean. 

"I'll go as long as my roommate can go," Hitch's pout turned into a frown. 

"That's still an odd number!" her hands flew to her face; covering her eyes in frustration. 

"Count me in too," Eren's raspy voice startled everyone, but as you looked towards him; he had already made his way towards the diner's exit. You watched as he made his way down the street, he looked exhausted. 

Marco eyes bugled out of his head, "Did Eren just-," however he was interrupted by Hitch who first kissed you on the cheek (which made your cheeks burn red) and sprung out of the booth with a "yay" and ran off towards her friends on the other side of the diner. Your hands touched the place where she had kissed you and you smiled, you could see from the corner of your eyes Jean observing you. 

Jean began sitting down beside you but before he could sit you stopped him, "Is it okay if we leave now? The sleepiness has overcome me." he pulled away from the booth to let you out. 

"Y/n, the party is just starting! We haven't picked someone for Reiner to sleep with tonight!" Connie whined as he grabbed your wrist, you looked down at him half-heartedly. 

"As much as I want to help with that, I care more about my sleep schedule," you gave Connie a fake smile as Jean began to say his goodbyes to his friends. He seemed as if he were going to take a little bit longer so you decided to wave goodbye to those you met and wait outside. You exited and heard the chime as you let the cool February breeze hit your face. 

Downtown illuminated with bright lights, the smell of coffee overwhelmed you as you looked across the street at a cafe. The lights dimmed low as you peeked inside, although you were far you could still see the number of people waiting in line for a hot cup of coffee. You were jealous as you saw the numerous customers walk outside cuddling their drink, you previously had eaten a cup of ramen before the party but as you saw the restaurants near you. Hunger won your stomach. 

You stood frozen on the pavement until you heard the door chime again, you turned your head and were met with Jean who was pulling his hair back, "You ready?" he nodded and you walked down the streets back to the parking garage. You noticed that he had been walking behind you at a slower pace, it felt awkward. 

You understood why though, Jean and you had barely hung out at the party except when you played truth and dare downstairs. You remembered the fact that you took two shots for him to avoid talking about Mikasa, he looked so sad at the mention of her name. 

But he also made your blood boil when he spoke of you with Eren, it was clear Jean and Eren had bad blood but they didn't have to bring you into it. He acted as if he owned you. You hated when he said you were his "belonging". 

"Y/n, I'm sorry," Jean whispered behind you as you stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Your hands found the insides of your pocket as you thought of how to respond. 

"For what?" the words came out without thought. 

Jean circled in front of you as you stood frozen, his eyes met with yours. "For being a stupid boy, I didn't mean to act as if we were dating or anything. Eren has a habit of...." he looked down at the ground. "Of stealing my friends."

Your eyes grew big when he said friends, although it was what you guys were to each other. 

"Look Jean, I don't care too much about what happened," you hesitated as you lied, "I've known Eren for a while but we just recently started talking as friends." his eyes met yours now with confusion. 

"How'd you guys meet?"

"Well he works in the coffee shop by our apartments," you paused as he nodded, "I'm kinda a big coffee drinker so it's not a surprise that I'm constantly there." 

"I'm well aware of Eren working there, conveniently I hate coffee so it works out for me," he began walking again and you followed along as you tried to make sense of what he just said. Jean hated coffee? What kind of animal was he, no coffee and no milkshakes? Nah, this man was not for you. "Either way y/n, I passed a line talking about you like that." you now walked shoulder to shoulder to him, although you were a bit smaller than him by a few inches. 

"Trust me, if I hear you say anything like that about me or any other girl in this world. You'll get more than a foot stepping!" you started throwing punches in the air as Jean scoffed and shook his head.

You both walked in silence as you passed the streets of downtown, everyone who passed you reeked of alcohol, and in avoiding them you kept being shoved into Jean until he finally grabbed you so you were walking in front of him. His hands pressed against your shoulder, maneuvering your body through the crowds of people until you left the busy streets. 

You were a few streets away from the parking garage when you finally left behind the huge crowds, "Thanks for that," you muttered as you separated from Jean's hands. 

"No problem but now you owe me a favor!" Jean said with a smug look on his face, winking as you stared up at him. 

His hair moved with the wind as he pulled it back, his eyes looked golden in the moonlight as it glistened down on him. His lips looked soft as they were pursed, the thought of them on yours ran past your mind. 

Shaking the thought out, "Ah yes! My lord, please, I'll do anything for you," you kneeled on the ground holding Jean's hand with both of yours, he looked down at you and rolled his eyes. 

"Get up," he pulled you up by the shoulders and you both continued to walk, "You're gonna help me study for this English exam on Wednesday. The favor was gonna be me asking you if you wanted to be my partner for the paintball thing Monday, but if you're inviting Armin, then I'll just ask Marco."

"Jean, how am I suppose to help you with that? We have to write an argumentative essay in under 55 minutes, you don't need me for anything!" 

"You're gonna time me and then grade my paper! It'll be super easy and you'll learn loads from it," he whined as you walked on the street of your parking garage, as you looked back you were met with a pout and puppy eyes. You were usually turned off by boys who do that face but seeing Jean do it, you unconsciously curled your mouth into a smile. "Is that a yes?" Jean devilish smiled as he caught you grinning, you whipped your head the other way as you began blushing. Before you could take another step, Jean grabbed your chin back towards him, his touch felt hot against your skin. His face closed in on you as he crept closer, "Is that a yes?" you felt his hot breath on your lips as he repeated himself. Your lips were so close now that your mind urged you to close the gap, it needed to feel his luscious lips on yours. You felt something inside you that needed to burst, but that's when you sneezed into Jean's face. 

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," Jean pulled back as your spit flew on him, you could feel your entire face turn red with embarrassment. It was the most intimate moment you had ever had with Jean and you ruined it because of your allergies. You heard Jean start to laugh as you closed your eyes hoping for this day to be over. 

"If you don't want to tutor me, that's fine! But don't rub your boogers all over me!" he cackled as he spoke, his eyes began to water as you glared at him. 

"Okay, okay, I'll tutor you." his grin grew bigger, "Can we go now?" Jean nodded as he calmed himself down, as you both entered the parking garage you talked about your English professor and how insane he was. Making your way to the floor that you left your car on, you pulled the keys from the inside pocket of your denim jacket. As you were about to press open, Jean's head grabbed your wrist. 

"You drank tonight," Jean's eyes widened as you nodded. 

"Yeah, it was a long time ago though! I feel sober and I chugged water like crazy, I'll be fine driving," you shook his grip off until he pulled your denim jacket to return towards him, you gapped at him as persistently stopped you.

"I don't think you should drive." he sternly looked at you, his eyes not budging from yours. His eyebrows almost touched as he frowned down at you. 

"What is your problem? Do YOU wanna drive?" you were getting sick of Jean's attitude, you were a damn good driver. You made sure to stop drinking and drink plenty of water before deciding to leave. 

Jean shook his head, "No, I drank as well. We need to call a cab or an uber," he pulled his phone out once again and began scrolling. You sighed as you looked at your car, if only you could knock Jean out and throw him in the trunk. 

"Don't bother with the uber, I've got Moblit," you pulled out your phone and hit speed dial.

"What the fuck is a Moblit?" Jean stared down at you.

"My brother-in-law."

* * *

It took Moblit ten minutes to find you and Jean, you both waited for him outside the parking garage as Jean complained about the fact that he was never going to use his uber app. Moblit pulled down the windows as he reached you, "You are so lucky Hange is working the night shift tonight, the number of questions they would've asked you," Moblit cheerfully laughed as you opened the door to ride shut gun, Jean crawled in the back. "Oh, who are you?" Moblit eyes flickered towards Jean, looking back at you for your response. 

"You didn't tell him I was here too?" Jean whined as he put on his seatbelt, yes you did forget to mention you had a date. You were a very forgetful person? Is that so wrong?

"Moblit, I said I was with a friend!" you began fiddling with your fingers, Moblit scoffed. 

"Wait is this the Jean you were talking about at dinner?" you groaned as Moblit mentioned that you had been talking about Jean, as you looked back at Jean he was smiling profusely. 

"OH? So you talk about me with your family? Didn't know I was THAT important to you," you could hear the cockiness in Jean's voice as Moblit shifted the car to drive. 

"Moblit! Why did you say anything," you whined as you covered your face with your hands.

"Oops sorry! Anyways, it's nice to meet you, Jean! I'm Moblit Berner, I've been engaged with y/n's sibling since high school, so I've known y/n for quite a long time." you listened to Moblit as your eyes wandered towards the lights outside, downtown was never a silent place nor was it ever empty. The people crowded and partied as if there were no tomorrow. You heard Jean and Moblit talking, but you zoned out as you looked at the window, their voices muffled as you leaned against the car window. 

"Hey, I kinda need to know where I'm going y/n, so might as well wake up," Moblit nudged you as you felt the car still, you had been stopped at a red light. As you looked at Moblit, his brown eyes were illuminated by the red light before you. 

"Uh, just take us to my apartment complex," you yawned as you spoke, you could feel your eyelids grow tired. 

"Absolutely not! Do you think I'm letting you and this boy you just met go to your house? To do God knows what? I'll pick you up from anywhere but to willingly let a boy come into your house is where I draw the line!" Moblit furiously looked back at you, the person behind your car was not beeping as the light turned green. 

"Moblit, Jean lives in the same apartment complex! Also, it turned green, GO!" you shouted as Moblit realized and finally drove away, you shook your head. 

You stared back at Jean, however instead of being met with his eyes, he had them sealed shut and was breathing in and out. Just like he had done when you had driven him to the diner, you wondered if he was like that when he was talking to Moblit. Was he talking to Moblit? You couldn't remember since you were looking out the window distracted. As you stared at him, your stomach dropped. It was hard looking at him, he was panicking so much and you had no idea how to help him. You decided it was best if you just left him alone and sat in silence until you reached your apartment complex. As you began to recognize your street, you looked towards Moblit until he noticed your stare. 

"What's up y/n? You're gonna ask me for a favor, aren't you?" he sounded scared as he spoke, glaring at you. _Damn, he really did know you well._

"I was just wondering if you could pick me up tomorrow when I'm clean and sober to pick up my car, I have work at 4 and I really need it," you pleaded with your eyes, you also didn't trust the parking garage you left your sweet car in. Sure it was okay for a few hours but overnight? Absolutely not. And if it were to get stolen or damaged, you would end up talking to your parents and you really did not want to do that.

Moblit nodded as the car came to a halt in front of your apartment complex, you told him you'd text him when you were awake to come to pick you up, and as you hugged him goodbye; you heard Jean muttered a thank you as he shut the car door. Moblit gave you a weak smile as you got out, he wasn't going to leave until you entered the building. Jean proceeded to open the door for you and you crept inside, the lights were dimmed down low in the lobby and as your eyes wandered; you saw Levi laying on the couch asleep. You stood there silent as you observed him, he looked like a cute bunny sleeping. Jean began to speak but you quickly shushed him, pointing at the sleeping landlord. You made your way to the stairs and sighed as you reached your front doorstep, Jean standing at his. 

"Well thank you for inviting me tonight, I had a-" you didn't know how to word your night, it was all over the place, "I had an extraordinary time!" you shuffled your feet as you spoke, looking at Jean's face you noticed he was staring at your lips. 

"Yeah? Well, to be completely honest......" Jean leaned back on his door and smiled, "it wasn't much of a date, didn't feel like one for me at least." you rolled your eyes, strangely enough, you sort of wished you had hung out with Jean more. But you also wouldn't have wanted to change anything about tonight, you liked getting familiar with Connie and Reiner. 

"So us paintballing and studying together isn't another date?" you played along with his little game. 

"No, paintball is a group thing, and studying together isn't a date unless we're going steady," he smirked, you broke your eye contact with him. You were the type of person that had to show emotion on your face, and you wanted to giggle and smile so bad right now. 

"Well, whenever you have the balls to ask me out "officially", you know where I live," as the words rolled off your tongue, Jean narrowed in on you and looked down at you. He grinned as you looked up to met his caramel eyes, they looked tired yet somber. Your stomach was full of butterflies as you both stood there in silence, you made a mental check hoping you weren't feeling a sneeze anytime soon. You began to lean forward but not enough for him to notice. Then Jean's hand flew on top of your head and he patted it softly. You sternly looked at him as he chuckled and pulled away from you, you stood there dumbfounded at his actions. You were so distraught that you didn't even notice him say goodnight and leave. You shook it off and entered your apartment, leaning back against the door as it shut.

_what the hell are you doing y/n_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been kinda long since i last updated so ujmm yeah idk im doing but lets go w it :)


	5. melt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi!! thank you for supporting my fanfic lol I'm still editing the other chapters but no major changes just grammar problems!! mature language once again, this is my fav chapter so far so yay :) OH reminder I do not own any of these characters!!! all rights to my homie isayama even though he do be making me cry every ten minutes. this chap is dedicated to "melt" by twin xl which just describes jean's feelings towards but y/n is annoying and can't see what's in front of her

[timeskip to Sunday night]

Today you struggled to get up but it was dire for you to rescue your car from the creepy parking garage, Moblit naturally picked you up, and on the way, he bought you breakfast. Like the good brother-in-law, he was. When you got home, you took a small nap and proceeded to actually get ready for work. Eventually, when you were about to leave for work, Armin groggily came back home and dragged himself to his room. He reeked of yesterday’s mistakes. 

When you got home from work, you found Armin eating pizza and rewatching the Mandolorian. You joined him after getting into some sweats, mindlessly scrolling on Instagram as Armin intently stared at the TV. Quickly noticing that you received another notification, clicking on it appeared that "hitchthisride" had begun following you. 

_ Hitch?  _

The name sounded oddly familiar, and as you clicked on the person profile you understood why. It was the girl from the diner who abruptly asked you to go paintballing with their group, in following her back she instantly messaged you.

from: hitchthisride

y/n!!! hiii just wanted to remind you that you promised me to come tomorrow!!

to: hitchthisride

yes, I know lol I’m definitely going hitch so you don't have to remind me 

from: hitchthisride 

GOODY ill send you the directions!! can wait to beat your ass :D

You smiled as you looked at her message, she seemed like a friendly person and you definitely needed more girl friends especially after losing Sasha. Wait, had you even lost Sasha? No. It was a temporary break that would end soon or until you finally mustered enough courage to go and talk to her. As you pondered about Sasha, you remembered that you had forgotten to mention or even invite Armin to the paintball game. 

"Hey Armin," you touched Armin's shoulder with your foot as you spoke, his face disgusted as he turned around flicking your foot. He paused the episode as he looked up at you from the floor he had been laying, he looked severely annoyed.

"This is a super important scene, what the hell do you want?" you looked at him in disbelief, the sass in his voice bewildered you. 

"Okay, fine! I guess I won't invite you to go paintballing! Have fun being here Monday, all, alone!" you scoffed as you got up from the couch, you made your way towards the kitchen. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you mean paintballing? You hate paintball, don't you?" ah yes, you did lie to Armin saying that paintball was no fun for you at all, that you had endured too many injures because of it. He followed you into the kitchen as you began pouring yourself a glass of apple juice. His big eyes looked at you defeated. 

"No and yes, it's a scary sport I won't lie!" you drank your juice, "Jean's friend invited me out and well I mean I said yes as long as I got to invite someone, that someone being you," you gulped as you spoke, Armin grinned at the mention of Jean's name. He hadn't asked you about the party but he assumed it went well since you were considering going paintballing with him and his friends.

"Count me in!" he jumped up and down as he wiggled his shoulder back and forth, Armin looked so adorable you couldn't help but dance with him, "I'm so excited, I've never been paintballing." you stopped jumping as you heard him say that. 

"Armin, you're gonna get eaten alive, this group has been paintballing together for a long time," his grin fell as you spoke, he cupped his face with his hand and before you knew it, he grabbed his keys and started throwing his shoes on. "Umm, earth to Armin? What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I have to get fit in under 24 hours, I'm going on a run!" he walked past you, and out the door he went, you laughed seeing him. You never thought he would take it that seriously. As long as you were by his side, he had nothing to worry about. You were fairly able to protect Armin from getting majorly injured since you were pretty decent at paintball, of course, it’s been a while since you last played. You stayed and ate pizza with Mandolorian, snuggling on the couch; you drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

[Saturday morning] 

You sat at the table as Armin made both of you breakfast, the lingering smile of bacon made your mouth water. Hitch had told you to meet at the paintball field around 11 so you decided to sleep in until 8, however, Armin was up at 4 am jogging around the block. For some reason, Armin seriously believed he would get fit by jogging around for an hour or two. You of course just went along with it, as long as you weren’t the one waking up at ungodly hours and running around in spandex; you were on board with the idea. 

You scrolled through TikTok until you felt something rub past your legs, as you peered down below the table you spotted Mandolorian. You scoffed as you proceeded to pick her up, “It feels like I haven’t seen you in years, Chloe,” you whispered to the cat, Armin groaned as you spoke.

“Stop trying to confuse the cat y/n, her name is Mandolorian!” you sighed, you had always wanted a cat named Chloe because you thought it was such an adorable name. However, it WAS Armin’s cat so you really didn’t have a say in anything. It wasn’t like you paid for its food or anything….. Even though you definitely did. You began to pet Mandolorian as you heard a knock at the door, the cat’s head peered towards your face and meowed. 

“Don’t yell at me kitty,” you sat them down as Armin motioned for you to go check on who was at the door, “don’t yell at me either!” you flipped Armin off as he retorted that he wasn’t yelling at you. 

As you unlatched the door, you were met with those same caramel brown eyes. Jean stood there with an old distressed “Nirvana” shirt with a blue long sleeve shirt underneath and black jeans, unlike yesterday his hair was in a small ponytail yet a few hairs were sticking out in the front. There was something about Jean that made him constantly look good. You smelled that same ocean breeze cologne that he had worn the day before, or at least that’s what you thought it was called.

_ But why was he here? _

“Are you gonna let me in or are you going to continue to check me out?” Jean smirked as he leaned into you, you backed away immediately and opened the front door further motioning for him to come in. 

Armin, who wore an “I just want to love Jesus & BBQ” apron that you ironically bought him for Christmas, grinned as he walked over to greet Jean, “Morning Jean!” 

“Armin! Nice to see you again, also sweet outfit!” Jean beamed, you stood next to him as the two boys greeted each other. 

“I didn’t ask you before if you were joining us for breakfast, so I made you food either way!” Armin returned to the stovetop as you looked at both boys in confusion. First of all, you had no idea Jean was stopping by and Armin had not mentioned it to you before. And second of all, when did they even talk?

As Jean noticed the look on your face he spoke, “I was on my way to the gym when I saw Armin running, he told me he was really excited for today,” Jean’s eyes flickered towards Armin as he spoke, “he brought up the idea for all of us to carpool so, of course, I had to accept.” Armin looked back and smiled at you, you dropped the confused stared and nodded with a fake smile.

Carpooling was no problem, the problem was how buddy-buddy both Jean and Armin were becoming. As much as you wanted to get away from Jean, it was like you reckoned to become friends….. Or even more.

_ No y/n, stop. No more feelings, that’s so embarrassing.  _

You shifted your weight on one side of your body as you awkwardly stood beside Jean, who had his hands in his pockets. 

“Go on and sit at the table Jean!” Armin motioned for Jean to go into the small dining room and sit, “y/n, go offer him something to drink!” hissing at you as he pushed you towards the table, you groaned as he did. 

Jean had already been sitting once you got over to the dinner table, “Umm, would you like some OJ? Some coffee, tea?” Jean looked up at you as you spoke, his lips pressed together. 

“What kind of tea do you guys have?” he cocked his head, his legs spreading out as he shifted his body towards you. 

You began to think about the teas you had, “Umm chamomile, oolong, and probably just green tea,” you stepped back a few steps, knowing if he wanted tea you would have to boil some water. 

“Actually, any juice would be fine.” Jean smiled at you as you turned around to grab the juice from the fridge, it seemed Armin had finished cooking breakfast because he was now carrying three plates full of food to the table. As you poured Jean’s juice in a glass, you placed it in front of him and sat beside both Armin and him. 

“I really appreciate you letting me ride with you guys, and for the breakfast,” Jean stared at Armin, the two began to engage in conversation as you peacefully ate your food. It had been a while since someone had eaten breakfast with Armin and you, sometimes Sasha would stay after a sleepover but not always since she rathered Niccolo’s food. Annie didn’t believe in breakfast so she never stayed. Besides them, no one really slept over. 

Back then, Hange loved coming over and crashing on the sofa. But ever since they started taking night shifts at the hospital; it seemed that they would no longer be making those trips over here for a while. 

The two boys noticed your silence but did not comment on it since they were so engrossed in their own conversation. At least until they began talking about Jean’s friends who Armin was meeting today. 

“I’m not sure if you know them, although, we all technically go to the same school so you may have seen them around,” Armin had asked Jean who was going, “my close friends who I want you to especially meet are Marco, Connie, Reiner-”

“Reiner? Reiner Braun?” you met eyes with Armin as he spoke, you tried to alert him with your eyes to not say anything about your association with Reiner. However, Armin was not the type to heed your warnings. “Isn’t he that one frat boy that Annie set you up with?” 

As soon as Armin spoke, you sighed. Jean cocked his head to the side to stare at you as you avoided eye contact, there was no need to tell Jean you had been on a double date with Reiner. You didn’t owe him any explanation, you weren’t a thing and you certainly couldn’t say you were going to start dating soon. 

“So that’s why we didn’t hang out at the party, too busy with the old flame?” Jean spoke as he scooped a large number of eggs into his mouth and looked you dead in the eyes.

“First, yes Armin that’s the same Reiner we’re talking about,” you looked at Armin as he looked at you apologetically, “Secondly, he’s too much of a bonehead for my taste even though he has a kind heart. Definitely don’t want anything with him unless it’s friendship,” as you finished your sentence, you finished your food and maneuvered out of your chair to go wash your dish. 

Arriving at the sink, Jean spoke, “I wonder why Reiner never mentioned you before, he thoroughly enjoys telling me about his hookups.”

You sighed, of course, Jean thought you and Reiner had hooked up. 

“It may come as a surprise to you but we never hooked up, didn’t even kiss,” you began to aggressively scrub your dish with the sponge, you didn’t mind people sleeping around with others. People could do whatever the hell they wanted, but you hated the fact that Jean assumed that just because you went on a date with Reiner that you also slept with him. 

As Armin silently sat there eating his eggs, Jean’s lips parted, “Really?” 

“Really.” You retorted as you rinsed the soap off the plate and set it to dry on the rack beside the sink. Your eyes were still on Jean as his confused face turned into a little smile, however, in noticing you were still looking at him, he eagerly shifted his gaze to his food. 

_ Why was he smiling for a minute there?  _

_ Was he somehow happy you hadn’t slept with Reiner? _

Once again, that same mushy feeling overwhelmed your stomach. His smile burned into your mind, even if it only lasted for a second or so. You turned around and leaned against the countertops, as the boys finished eating breakfast. 

Despite only knowing Jean for less than a week, you had been so close to his face a few times already. His breath lingered on your lips. You wondered if you hadn’t sneezed on him, then what would’ve happened? You were never the type to fall for a guy like Jean, the pretty boy with redeemable qualities, but for a moment you didn’t care. 

_ Wait, no. Y/n, no this isn’t the time to start falling for Jean. Get your guard back up and get out of there.  _

You shook off your thoughts, finally telling the boys that were going to finish getting ready. You walked out of the kitchen and into your room, you hadn’t noticed but Jean gazed as you walked by. Armin’s eyes lingered towards Jean, blushing over the fact that the boy was entranced by you as you walked away. 

When you reached your room, you planned to take a backpack and fill it with everything you deemed fit to bring. First aid kits, an extra set of pants, numerous bottles of water, your small set of pain-killers, and about any other thing you could think would be helpful. As you started zipping up your backpack, you felt as if you were being watched. 

Looking behind, you saw Jean stationed on the threshold of your bedroom door. He was engulfed by the numerous movie posters you had hanging around your room, his eyes directed towards the “Spiderman: Homecoming” poster above your bedpost. 

Jean, in breaking the silence, said, “So Armin likes Star Wars, while you like-” 

“Marvel,” you interrupted as you faced towards the poster he looked at, “although, I’m not necessarily obsessed with it like Armin is with Star Wars. All the marvel posters are from my dad.” Your throat burned as you spoke. It had been quite a while since you said the word “dad”, you hadn’t been in contact with your parents for a long time, and talking about them felt taboo.

As a young child, when your parents got divorced, and ultimately split your family in half. Your father got custody of you while your mother got custody of Hange. For a few years, you relocated with your dad to Arizona and Hange stayed in Chicago. At the age of thirteen, your parents surprised you with the fact that they were remarrying each other, something you had been dreaming of when you finally understood why you didn’t have a mother present in your life. Of course, when you moved back to Chicago, your relationship with your dad was not affected at all. Hange made sure to catch up on those missing years and hung out with you every second of the day. Your mother, however…….

Was absent for the most part, for you. 

Every attempt you made to get to know your mother better or to bond was immediately shut down by her, at first you didn’t mind it because you were in those teenage rebellious years. But as you gained your first kiss, boyfriend, proms and noticed her absence or lack of wanting to talk to you about it became apparent to you. When you received a prestigious award for NHS, you noticed she planned a Vegas ladies’ trip with her friends on the day of the banquet; after telling her the date of it. It was obvious she avoided anything that had to do with you, especially with the fact that she never failed to go to Hange’s science fairs or their decathlons. Your mother was always in the first row with Hange. You never blamed Hange for this, you often blamed yourself. 

_ Why didn’t she love me?  _

_ I’m her blood too, why do I get less attention? _

You thought your dad would always be there for you, that was until that night you announced to your parents that you’d be going to Northwestern instead of the University of Chicago where your parents had met. Knowing your mother couldn’t care less of you, you thought that she would turn a blind eye and just pay the bills. However that night she exploded and called you a disgrace to the family, comparing you to Hange over and over. You remember looking into your fathers’ eyes, they were filled with tears as he heard your mother shout repeatedly at you. You tried to defend yourself, but ultimately your father silenced your mother with his few words directed towards you. “Leave y/n, it’s best if you leave.” 

Those were the last words you heard your father say. 

Hange became the middle man between you and your parents, they briefly sent you formal messages or emails concerning your education and when the bills were due. Because as long as they paid for your college education, everything was okay! No damage! You may never have a family Christmas party but you have an education! 

“What’s your favorite movie then?” you turned your head towards Jean as he snapped you back into reality, “Not specifically from the marvel universe, just in general.” He stood beside you now, his shoulder barely touching yours. 

“Uh, wow. Asking someone who minors in the film what their favorite movie is,” you exhaled as you spoke, looking up at him, “I know this is a creepy movie, but “Rosemary’s Baby” when one of the first movies in which I overanalyzed, so it’s dear to me.”

He pulled his long hair behind his ear, revealing a small scar on the side of his cheek. It started at his ear and extended towards the middle of his cheek. You had been close up to his face multiple times but this was your first time seeing it. 

“Will you kill me if I tell you I’ve never heard or seen it?” he snorted as he tilted his head towards you, he crossed his arms. 

“You are a menace to society, truly.” you laughed as Jean made a frowny face at you, “I actually have it illegally taped because fuck the director.” The thought of the director made you want to scream and punch a wall multiple times. 

“Movie directors are the real menace to society, y/n.” Jean retorted as he turned to face you, “Wanna know mine?” you so badly wanted to face him, but you knew that you’d be face to face once again. 

“Yes,” you uttered out as you faced down to play with the zippers on your backpack, you felt Jean’s intent gaze at you. 

“Memento,” you were so baffled by his response that you turned to face Jean, staring down at you he smirked. “What?” he innocently asked, obviously pretending. 

“Why do you like it? Truly, like did you understand the meaning of the movie?” there was a right answer to what you asked, minoring in film made you see movies from a different perspective. 

Jean sighed, “Don't get me wrong, it’s not my favorite movie simply because of the plot. The way they directed it, it’s so captivating. It really captures the main character's amnesia, and it doesn’t romanticize it like those stupid chick flicks! It shows you the real struggle of not being able to form those new memories, it’s like we’re in his shoes. I’m not into film but that movie genuinely made me want to recreate something like that, but from my own perspective,” as Jean rambled on, his eyes began to light up. He spoke as if you were the only person alive, never breaking eye contact with you, “The fact that in the end, it’s all-”

“Alright, let’s get-! Guys, come on! It’s late as it is,” Armin appeared at your bedroom door, you exhaled as he interrupted Jean’s rant. You looked at Jean, profusely blushing as you looked at him, you strapped the backpack around your shoulders and began walking towards Armin. It was tragic that Armin had interrupted your moment with Jean, it was interesting hearing his take on such a difficult movie to analyze. 

Previously the boys had decided to take Armin’s car and naturally, you were on board with that, you all chatted as you put on your shoes. In checking to see if you had everything, the boys decided to wait for you in the hallway, once you double-checked everything you walked out of the hall and locked your apartment door. Motioning the boys to walk down the stairs first, Jean gave you a small smile as he walked past you. 

Once you got into the apartment lobby, you were met with a nice earthy smell. However, no one was in the lobby so your party proceeded to walk out until you heard the door of Levi’s office creak open. The small landlord walking out with a mug glued to his hand, “Y/l/n, I need to speak with you,” Levi’s monotone voice spooked you, you were already halfway out the door. 

“Can you pick me up from here?” you pleaded with your eyes, Armin rolled his eyes and nodded. He slapped Jean’s back and pushed him to keep walking, Jean mouthed a “why” but you ignored it. You slowly retraced your steps, Levi sat on the couch and motioned for you to sit in the sofa chair in front of him. 

As you stepped towards him, the floors creaked and groaned. 

“Something bothering you?” you yawned as you sat down, Levi took a long sip and exhaled. 

“Can you tell your little friend that I’m sorry for kicking him, it was inappropriate and uncalled for. As his landlord, I promise to never do that to him ever again.” he crossed his legs and looked at you with a deadpan stare, you gawked at him. 

_ Inappropriate and uncalled for….. Wasn’t it inappropriate that he was asking you to apologize for him? _

“Levi, I can’t just apologize for you,” you placed your face into your hands, “that’s not a genuine or heartfelt apology!” you yelled into your hands so it sounded muffled. As you removed your hands, Levi looked at you with a blank expression on his face. 

“Why not?” 

“Why not? Are you kidding me? He’s not gonna accept it!”

“I thought it would be better if it came from his significant other,” you froze as he spoke, tightly shutting your lips as you sternly looked at him. “Please, I saw the way he looked at you.”

“God Levi, you really don’t realize the number of lines you’ve passed huh?” you scoffed, you looked at him in disbelief. 

“And what the hell does that mean?” his eyebrows furrowed. 

“You literally kicked a tenant and then expect another to apologize for you? That’s not a landlord thing to do Levi,” you stood up as slowly walked towards the exit, “Also, we aren’t together. How about you stop worrying about my love life and focus on yours.” You could see a vein began to pop out of his forehead, his eyes squinted towards you. 

“I could care less about your stupid love life,” standing up, he abruptly grabbed his mug and made his way to his office, “Your simple-minded sibling asked me to keep an eye out for you, but if you’re going to be this insufferable every minute then I’m done,” before you could ask, he slammed the door of his office. Leaving you all alone with your thoughts. 

_ Hange.  _

They were always worried about you ever since your fight with your parents, but you thought their overbearing self stopped. But making your own landlord check up on you all the time was something else. Something you never thought they’d do. You scoffed as you exited the building, just another problem to deal with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY, THIS IS MAINLY FILLER AHHH!!! I wanted to post something fast, but it's super late and I finished this in a hurry so I'll probably revise it in the morning but :) yeah, also I kinda rewrote a lil of the previous chapters bc I hate everything I write but whatever hahahahahahhahaahh goodbye now.


End file.
